I am a firm believer that each of us, no matter who we are, has a deep and sacred desire to be BIG and be seen for the positive impact we are making on our families, friends, communities and the world. Even if you know yourself to be the most modest person out there, you still have, somewhere inside, an authentic and beautiful desire to fully show up for your life, do amazing things, and be recognized for it.
This could take the form of having a super-successful business, becoming a performer, writing a bestselling book, receiving accolades at work, creating a website that provides resources and information on a topic you’re passionate about, becoming the President of your PTA or Co-op Board, or excelling as a leader in your volunteer organization or family. We each carry within us the desire to be big and seen because there is so much to be gained from it – building your confidence, multiplying your wealth, feeling fully satisfied, connecting you’re your passion, creating authentic relationships, and bringing your unique gifts to the world.
The problem is that so often, we don’t allow ourselves to think BIG ENOUGH. For example, you don’t envision your start-up business as growing well into the 6-figure bracket. Or, you know we have a great skill that can really help others, but you don’t think to offer it through workshops or e-products. Or, you are part of a volunteer organization that you know can be even more amazing, but you shy away from taking a leadership role where you can help shape things. Or, you’ve been keeping a journal of amazing travel stories for years, but never even considered polishing them up and getting them published.
WE ARE THE OBSTACLES IN OUR WAY TO OUR OWN GREATNESS.
Why? Because we are scared of being seen, of being criticized, or failing, or succeeding, of being bigger than our friends and family and then feeling isolated from them. We tell ourselves so many stories about why we can’t or shouldn’t be BIG and live up to our potentials: we tell ourselves we need to be modest, we aren’t good enough, we don’t have enough time, we don’t have enough money, people won’t like us, it’s already been done, it’s not worth doing, we don’t know how to do it. When you are in your “story”, you forget how to think big because the risk is too high.
These stories feel real to us, but I promise you – they certainly are not! They are actually just excuses that are very tricky because they are disguising themselves as truth and gospel. The truth is that you are good enough, you can succeed, and you do deserve it. These excuses are keeping us from fully stepping into the amazing truth of who we are, enjoying ourselves more, and giving back to the world in the biggest ways possible.
Once you can identify and move past your stories and your fear, then you can begin to envision yourself and your projects as HUGE…and go out and accomplish them!
Here is my 5-step process for identifying the obstacles that keep you from thinking big and moving towards conceptualizing, planning, and accomplishing your deepest desires:
1) Write down an area of your life or work where you feel either unfulfilled or as if there is something missing or unrequited – in other words, an area of your life where you are ready to be BIG! This can be anything from your business as a whole or part of your business, to your finances, to your love of writing or another hobby, to that part of your job that is ready to be pumped with energy. For example, you might write down “I am ready to be Bigger through my fiction writing.”
2) Ask yourself what might be at risk for you if this part of your life became huge and amped up with energy. For example, would you be so busy that your down-time with yourself be at risk? Would your relationship with your partner or family be at risk? Would your safety from criticism be at risk? Would your unconscious vow to never surpass your father’s success be at risk?
3) Great, now you’ve identified your obstacle! Write it down. It might go something like this: “I have not been able to take my fiction writing to the next level because of my fear that I would become more successful than my father.” Or “I haven’t yet envisioned or fulfilled my big potential as a fiction writer because I am scared of rejection by potential publishing houses.”
4) Next, I invite you to write down all of the opportunities in your life that you have missed out on because of the obstacle you’ve identified. For example – “My fear of rejection has kept me from: 1)fullfilling my potential as a fiction writer; 2)creating a profile for internet dating; 3)asking for a promotion at my last job; 4)throwing myself a big party when I turned 30.”
5) If you find that there is more than one opportunity that this obstacle has held you back from, then you’ve hit the jackpot! This is clearly a persistent obstacle that can be turned into pure gold. You’ve now got a ripe and juicy piece of information to work with and work through that will ultimately provide you with the next steps towards becoming BIG, SEEN, and SUCCESSFUL!
I welcome your comments on this article, as well as posting your BIG projects and obstacles on my new blog!.
Your Soulful Coaching Call to Action!
If you’re not sure how to take the next step with the obstacles that are keeping you from reaching your potential (including finding or succeeding at the work that you love, creating amazing relationships, or unlocking your creativity) – no worries! Join me for a COMPLIMENTARY 40 minute, 1-on-1 Intuitive Leadership Activation Session over the phone. You’ll tap into your heart to envision your deepest desires in your life and work, as well as clearly name and see the obstacles and diversions that have been standing in your way! To register, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with Intuitive Leadership Activation in the headline.