my most traumatic incident of 2015 (BIG biz lesson) 

5-27-16VoiceImageI’ve waited nearly a year to share this
important story with you.

It’s one I want you to hear because it will
impact how you approach your clients, your prospects, your team
members, your
joint venture partners,
your vendors….not to mention
everyone else in
your life.

This story starts in March 2014, a month before Yael, my younger
daughter, was
born.

Jon and I had been brainstorming on childcare for the baby once
my maternity
leave was over, and he asked our "Saturday night"
babysitter if she
had any recommendations.

The babysitter (we’ll call her "Jane”) suggested herself.



My immediate intuitive reaction
to that was
"NO!"
– I liked Jane well enough for Saturday
nights, and
Penina had a great time with her, but there was something about
her energy and
the way she interacted that just didn’t feel right for being in
my home every
single day while I was working from home.

It wasn’t a question of the baby’s safety – I was clear she would
be great
with the baby – it was more a feeling about how she and I would
get along, and
my comfort level in my own home with her constantly being there.

But, because I didn’t want to hurt Jane’s feelings, I hired her
as our nanny,
even though everything in my intuition told me not to.

The first two weeks were great, but by the third week, Jane had a
"talk" with me about nursing the baby – she told me
that she could
tolerate me nursing the baby now, but once the baby turned
1-year-old, she’d
have to leave the room if I nursed.

My blood was boiling as she shared this with me. I am BIG on
nursing, and
nursing for a long time (Yael is now 25 months and we’re still
going strong). I
think it’s a personal decision that is truly nobody else’s
business. I wanted
to share with Jane that nursing is very important in our
household and that
it’s important that I feel fully comfortable to do this while she
was around.

But I didn’t say a word.

Instead, I told myself, “Oh, Jane is a much older woman from a
different
generation. And her religious and political beliefs are different
than mine, so
that’s why she feels the way she does about nursing….it’s
fine….I’ll just
nurse privately. I don’t want to rock the boat here – she’s in my
home every
day."

I squelched my intuition and my
voice yet
again.

Over the next few months, Jane had lots of "feedback"
for me – I
nursed too much, I shouldn’t let the baby use a pacifier, I
wasn’t feeding the
baby the "right" foods, I should be more strict, I eat
too much fish
and too much coconut oil (I’m not kidding!), on and on and on.

I took all of this with a grain of salt – never really telling
her I
disagreed….again, because I didn’t want to rock the boat. I wanted her to be happy and feel
comfortable.

Well, I consistently made my voice small….in my own home….and
the boat got
rocked anyway:

One day, when Yael was about 16 months, Jane went off on me out
of nowhere.
She started yelling at me, screaming "You’re ruining your children! You’re a terrible
woman and a
terrible mother!
How can you work to empower women when
you’re so awful
yourself?" And other things that probably aren’t appropriate
to mention
here :)

You might be able to imagine how I felt – holding my baby, and
having this
woman whom I had let into my home every day for 16 months, who
had held my baby
every day for 16 months, who had closely observed me for 16
months, telling me
I was ruining my children.

The feeling of violation was off
the
charts.
I was being full-on attacked in my own home
while holding my
infant.

My heart was racing, I was sweaty, and crying hysterically….I
actually
couldn’t even speak. I was in such a state of fight, flight or
freeze (I was in
freeze, as if a saber-toothed lion was right there in front of me
ready to
pounce) that all I could do was cry and not move as she continued
to berate me
and scream and insult.

Finally, after a few minutes, I
somehow found
my voice.
Barely making sense, I screamed at the top of
my lungs, louder
than I’ve ever screamed before, for her to leave my house
immediately and to
never come back.

I cried for 3 full days after that. Pretty much non-stop. It took
hours and
hours for me to stop shaking. I literally couldn’t get my body to
stop shaking.
And I simply replayed that scene in my mind over and over and
over again.

The tears weren’t because I thought she was right about me and
who I am as a
mother.

The tears and the shaking were because of the intensity of the
attack and the
impact it had on my nervous system.

And because of my disappointment in myself for not following my
intuition and
not speaking my truth all those months.

What I couldn’t believe was that
I had
silenced myself all that time.

I am SO very outspoken in my business and professional life: I
tell my clients
like it is, even if it’s uncomfortable. I lovingly share tough
feedback with my
team members when necessary. I publicly write and speak up about
issues I see
with the coaching community or online marketing community.

Not to mention, this is what I teach my clients: How to fully
claim and own
your voice!

My voice is fully intact when it comes to my business….and I
learned that
lesson through years of practice and discomfort with my voice.
So, it was
shocking to see how much work there still was to do in other
areas.

Because here’s the Truth: for
ALL of us,
there is always STILL more work to do when it comes to following
our intuition
and speaking our Truth.

Because there are so many "reasons" we cast this aside:
we don’t
trust ourselves, or we don’t want to hurt others, or we don’t
want to sound
full of ourselves, etc.

But in the end, in nearly any situation – business or
professional, the
absolute BEST outcome always lies in you honoring your Truth.

I share this very traumatic personal story with you as a reminder
and as a
prayer for all of us:

Honor your Truth, always.

Find Your Voice.

Speak Up.

Listen to your Body and Your Intuition.

You are Wise beyond your wildest dreams, and the World needs to
Hear
YOU.

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