Of course, learning new skills and techniques to use with clients is important and really helps you go deeper and stronger with them. You absolutely need that. But another thing that’s really helpful is simply asking YOURSELF questions that will take you deeper into your own inner wisdom, your own self-awareness, and your own understanding of your client’s situation.
Here are 3 questions I recommend journaling on after EVERY client session you have over the next week or two. You will learn LOADS from this and upgrade your work through it. Eventually, you’ll automatically start asking yourself these questions while you’re actually in session, and be able to fine tune and strengthen your sessions right then and there.
Question 1: What is my inner wisdom telling me about this client and what she needs next?
This question may seem like an obvious one to you, but it’s SUCH an important one. One of the many tools I teach when it comes to Listening Skills is to listen to your client AND listen to yourself. So long as your filters are checked, your curiosity, your inclinations, your intuitions, your visions, and your concerns provide VITAL information for you to know how to lead your client, how to acknowledge your client, what to ask your client, what to creating awareness around for your client, etc etc.
It will also help you understand better where a client needs to go next.
For example, when you ask yourself this question, you may give yourself answers like:
“My inner wisdom is telling me she may be scared about the action steps we co-created and she needs some extra followup between now and our next session.”
“My inner wisdom is telling me that she is not fully seeing how amazing X accomplishment is, and it would really benefit her to be seen in it and celebrate it.”
“My inner wisdom is telling me that she’s not ready for X goal. First she needs to work with her fear of Y.”
Such important information that will help you move your clients forward!
Again, asking yourself this question is so obvious, right? But here’s the thing: Way too many practitioners tend to overlook what their inner wisdom is telling them about their client because they’re too caught up in their own “stuff”, in performing well, in being validated, in taking responsibility, etc.
Which leads up to the next question to ask yourself….
Question 2: What do I notice about my energy, my beliefs and my fears as I moved through the session?
When I train practitioners to be EXCEPTIONAL at what they do, we don’t only look at techniques like Help Clients Befriend Their Fear, Support Clients off Wheel of Self-Sabotage, or Leveraging Shadow, etc….all of those techniques are super powerful and important, but the core, core, core foundational piece behind being a creme of the crop practitioner in ANY situation is being really conscious about the energy that you are bringing to each session, and being uber aware of the fears, beliefs and limiting factors you are holding.
That’s why this question can be so powerful.
For example, recently on a Coaching Practicum call, where a participant “practice” coached and then received feedback from me and the group, I asked the coach this very question. Her response: “Well….I notice that I was nervous while I was coaching, and the nervousness had me moving at a quicker pace than I would have liked. If I wouldn’t have been scared of not getting the client to a resolution, I would have moved slower, and created more space around each statement and question…and that would have allowed the client to go deeper.”
Bingo! Such valuable insight, right?
There is so, so much to being able to work with what I call “The Energetics of the Coaching Relationship”, and it’s a theme we keep on coming back to in Sacred Depths. This question is a great place to start.
Question 3: What didn’t I share with my client that I would have liked to share?
So, this question, can be a followup to question 1, or stand on its own. It’s basically an opportunity to take stock of what might have been missing from the conversation or what your client still needs to hear. Once you clarify this, you can choose to either save it for your next session or communicate it to her before then.
Sometimes practitioners can feel like it’s a weakness to not have shared everything that was meant to be shared in the session itself…but I disagree wholeheartedly! It can often be super powerful to anecdote a session a day or two later with a new insight, and it shows your client that you’re thinking about her in between your sessions.
I hope these questions are getting you excited, and I highly recommend starting to journal on them after your sessions….as well as after your sales calls! They will help you improve your sales immediately!