I often get asked how I’ve been able to grow and sustain such a thriving business, with so many hardcore fans, happy clients, and referrals. The answer?
Well, it’s not just one thing (if only!). It’s been a number of things, but one of the biggest is that I approach all of my client work with what I call The Integrity and Depth Principles.
Integrity and Depth are at the core of creating an environment that motivates your clients to trust you deeply, be vulnerable, explore the parts of themselves they otherwise would ignore or reject, see their Truth with clarity, and be willing to take bold, aligned actions.
Integrity and Depth also allow your clients to see you as the practitioner they have profound confidence in, an individual they cherish and want to do their soul work with.
Over the next week or two, I’ll share some of these principles with you. Here are the first 2!:
1. Love all of your Client’s Parts (this is not as easy as you might think)
A big integrity issue as well as transformational skill is the ability to fully love ALL of your clients’ parts: not just their brilliance or their motivation or their kindness. But also their judgmentalness or their laziness or their victim selves or their jealousy.
When you are passing judgment or uncomfortable with or scared of an action your client has taken or a way that they are showing up either in the world or with you…your client can feel it.
Even if you don’t say a word about it, your client feels the judgment or fear, and as a result, your client either feels shame or resentment or defensiveness. It does not create an environment of trust and willingness to look honestly at issues.
Practitioners are able to go deep and act in full integrity (i.e. guide clients to make the most aligned decisions) when they are able to love and accept each and every aspect their client shows up with…even if the client shows up in anger or resistance to the practitioner herself.
But it’s not so easy to do this.
It’s not so easy to truly love and accept all of your client’s parts, especially when they show up in a way that has you feel you’re not doing a good job, or in a way that challenges your own belief & judgment system.
It takes deep inner work around Accepting Yourself, Managing Your Own Triggers, and also Checking Your Biases and Filters so that you can show up fully present for all your client brings to the table.
2. Be Willing to Be Wrong
We’ve all witnessed this: a practitioner who is “GURUing” their client.
A big mistake I see practitioners make is that they offer an opinion to a client – either about a situation or an inner pattern or dynamic in their client – and the opinion simply does not resonate for the client. But the practitioner sticks to her guns – out of fear of being wrong, or out of fear of “not looking smart enough.”
And then one of two things happen:
a) The client ends up feeling unseen and unheard, and often mistrusting the practitioner
b) The client overrides her own inner wisdom, listens to the practitioner, and ends up taking actions that are misaligned for her.
It sounds easy enough to Be Willing to Be Wrong, but in fact, most practitioners need more work on this one. It requires deep work Befriending Your Own Fears around being good enough, and being seen as smart & able. It also requires skills work around how to Create Awareness for clients in ways that activate their inner wisdom without “GURUing” them.
Hope these first two Integrity and Depth Principles were helpful and sparked some inner conversation for you! Will share more Principles soon!