A Cautionary Tale: My Instagram Emotional Breakdown

I resisted getting on Instagram for years and years. I made up stories & excuses about how I was too old for it, how I was too wordy for it, how I didn’t take enough selfies for it, on and on.

And finally, in the Autumn, my team convinced me it was time. Instagram would be fun. It would help me impact more people who need the work.

I checked it out and decided it was actually a pretty interesting and valuable place to be.

Because I have such an engaged Facebook community, I figured it would be easy-peasy to get started on Instagram.

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My First Bra (& how it relates to coaching)

Plainly put: I grew boobs before most of the other girls in my grade.

But I was in denial. I wasn’t one of those girls who wanted to grow up quickly. Even at a young age, time felt precious to me and I didn’t want to get any older any quicker.

One day, early Autumn of the sixth grade, my mom came into my room without knocking. She was carrying a white plastic bag from the discount store, Marshalls. Very unceremoniously, she dumped the contents of the bag onto my bed. It was three bras…all white…looking pretty intimidating to me.

“Time to start wearing a bra,” my mom told me.

My mother and I had never had a conversation on the topic before. The foreign objects on my bed, in combination with the matter-of-factness of my mother’s voice felt shocking to me. I felt intruded upon, slightly under attack, maybe a little ashamed… and definitely wanted to have nothing to do with those bras. And wanted to have even less to do with my mom at that moment.

I eventually wore one of the bras to school (& total hilarity ensued; that’s a story for another day), but why am I sharing this story with you?

Because this was a GREAT example of what NOT to do when you are working with clients and wanting to Create Awareness for them.

Creating Awareness is a vital coaching skill and coaching competency.

Part of your job as a coach is to support clients to become aware of certain facts, ideas, notions and steps that they can’t see themselves. But HOW you support those clients to become aware makes all the difference.

The truth is that my mother was right. Looking back now, I can see that in terms of how mature my physical body was, I was long overdue for a bra. It really was time.

But while my body was ready, I personally needed to be invited to do so in a way that honored ALL of me. I needed maybe for my mom to create some tenderness and intimacy around the topic first. I needed maybe for her to ask my permission to talk about something sensitive. I needed for her to ask me how I felt about it and what was right for me.

These are all components of the Creating Awareness skill you want to be using with clients.

You may have an insight or piece of information that is TOTALLY vital for your client to hear. You want to be very, very VERY intentional about how you deliver that piece of information, how you create that awareness.

It will make all the difference in the world in terms of how open or resistant your client will be to the new information, how they feel about themselves as they take in the new information, and how they trust and feel connected to you.

So next time you are Creating Awareness with a client, take a moment to think about how you want to do it!

Leveraging the Shadow for Greater Client Transformation

One thing I go deep into when I support clients to become Master Facilitators or Master Coaches is to understand the Shadow, all its layers, and how to effectively use it in your facilitation and 1:1 work to help your clients move past limiting patterns and obstacles.

When I train my Master Facilitators on all this in person, a core tenet is that you can’t support your clients with their Shadows if you’re not willing to fully look at your own. And so we go very deep into magically and sacredly helping you journey to the depths of your soul to come face to face and then become friends with your Shadow.
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An Advanced Creating Awareness Technique To Use With Clients (some coaches may disagree with this)

The Skill of Creating Awareness is one of the most foundational – and also one of the most powerful – that you can use with clients.

Creating Awareness is literally the act of:

— supporting your client to see something about themselves and their situation that they were not previously able to see;

OR

— supporting your client in being able to acknowledge and accept something about themselves and their situation that they were not previously able to acknowledge and accept;

OR

— supporting your client in being able to more deeply embrace something about themselves or their situation that will help them become more confident, more clear, more able or more open.

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Mini Podcast: Why Does Mastery Matter?

If you’re in the line coaching or transformation work, you know just how critical the energy you bring to the table is in determining the outcome of your work with clients.

When it comes to what you believe about yourself, your abilities, and your clients, there are no effective hiding places.

It doesn’t even matter how brilliant, talented, or wise you actually are.

If you secretly believe otherwise, it will affect how your clients feel about working with you, and that will in turn influence the depth of the work you’ll be able to do together.

The inner work you do is critical to your practice.

And it’s not just about believing in yourself and where you’re at, it’s about believing in your clients and their ability to show up and do the work.

We all have doubts sometimes and wonder if we’re the real deal. That’s 100% ok. 

It’s what you do with those doubts that determines whether or not you’ll truly move past them to be a skillful, loving, insightful and transformational force in the lives of those you serve.

Because integrity means everything to people, like you and me, who are here to co-create powerful transformations with others.

That’s why this week’s mini- podcast (5 minutes packed with goodness!) will cover everything you need to know about making sure your energy is aligned, confident, effective, and steeped in integrity.

I’m also going to cover the three main things every transformational coach needs in order to succeed.

Don’t miss it.