The Integrity + Depth Principles, Part 1

I often get asked how I’ve been able to grow and sustain such a thriving business, with so many hardcore fans, happy clients, and referrals. The answer?

Well, it’s not just one thing (if only!). It’s been a number of things, but one of the biggest is that I approach all of my client work with what I call The Integrity and Depth Principles.

Integrity and Depth are at the core of creating an environment that motivates your clients to trust you deeply, be vulnerable, explore the parts of themselves they otherwise would ignore or reject, see their Truth with clarity, and be willing to take bold, aligned actions. READ MORE

The Case for 1:1 Work & Skills (Slightly Controversial)

I’ve been noticing more and more in the transformational and coaching industries that practitioners are being encouraged to move away from offering 1:1 work because group programs are more lucrative.

I absolutely understand this. It is true that group programs often yield more income for your time. There is also a certain satisfaction that only group work can provide…and I of course run many group programs myself each year (& even run group programs about running group programs!).

But all that being said, I want to make the case for continuing (or beginning) to include 1:1 work in your offerings, or at the very least, staying at the top of your game when it comes to 1:1 work. READ MORE

When Someone Steals Your Work

A few months ago I was scrolling through Facebook, I noticed a post from someone who has taken ALL of my training programs over the last years. Turns out she had just put together her OWN transformational practitioner training, and she was posting pics and videos from her retreat.

As I was watching one of her videos, I saw that she was straight up using content as her own that had taken me decades to develop, and even using all my sets of journaling questions – WORD FOR WORD.

As you can imagine, this was upsetting to me. For one thing, it simply made my stomach turn to see that my curriculum that was so special to me, so nurtured by me over so many years, was being used by someone else who was masquerading it as their own.

And yet, even though I was so so angry and so so upset at her….

….and even though it should have immediately been so clear that she was in the wrong….

READ MORE

One of the Secrets to….Everything

For millennia, the wise women have understood and known how to navigate this particular key to life, and we need this key now more than ever before: Master the Paradox.

What is Mastering the Paradox?

It’s the knowing and living into the fact that opposites exist at the same time and sometimes inevitably need to be experienced at the same time.

It’s the understanding that life is not just one thing….that real life is a layered and complex, disorganized mishmash of things that at first seem to not go together. READ MORE

4 Sales Conversation “no-no”s

no-no-no-310x296Over the last few weeks, I’ve been sharing with you a lot of tools about successful enrollment conversation – because you can have the BEST marketing or referrals EVER, but if you don’t know how to have powerful sales conversations, none of that matters.

You need to master sales calls in order to make those sales.

Through the years, I’ve seen a lot of sales “mistakes” made by amazing entrepreneurs (myself included!) – mistakes that can cost you conversions, cost you potential income, and keep you from making the impact you’re meant to make.

Here are a few of the most common “no-no”s I see: READ MORE

Lessons to learn [Part 5 of 5]

If you’ve been following along with my story in parts 1-4 of this blog series, you know I’ve had some more than a few bumps and bruises along the way over these last 20 months.

I’ve learned a lot.

I’ve had to learn that my work isn’t for everyone. I want everyone to love all that I have to share, to eat it up, to adore it, to be deeply deeply impacted by it.

But the truth is that now that I’m teaching about Coaching and Facilitation Mastery, now that I’m teaching about the skills underneath the skills to move clients through fears and work with their shadows, now that I’m teaching advanced tools for connecting more deeply and authentically with your clients and with yourself… this material is too sophisticated for 90% of the practitioners out there.

Not because it’s hard….but because it’s not flashy like “ how to do marketing funnels” is, it’s not glossy like “how to succeed with FB ads” is, and it’s not surface oriented like “how to make a million” is.

This work is for thoughtful individuals. This work is for individuals who are already pretty amazing at what they do. This work is for individuals who LOVE going deep and figuring out how to create better and better results with their clients. This work is for individuals who are willing to admit that mastery isn’t a destination, but instead a journey.

I’ve had to learn that it’s OK that I speak to a sophisticated audience. I’ve had to own that my work isn’t for everyone.

I’ve also had to accept that because the work I offer is so deep and because I am so committed to being fully present for each client & student that I serve, that I can’t offer it to a million people at a time. I can’t be one of those coaches that has 500 people in a program. My work is more intimate than that.

I will straight up share with you that I haven’t yet mastered any of this. I still sometimes feel pained when I get hate mail or criticized. I still sometimes get insulted and/or self-judgmental when people opt-out, both in my newsletter community or my Facebook community.

I still sometimes get frustrated when I have less engagement than I want. I still sometimes feel a little victim-y that I need to cap my courses at a certain number of participants.

But overall, I feel so lucky. I feel lucky that even with all of this, my programming still sells out. I feel lucky that I get to make an impact in so many people’s lives. I feel lucky that I get to be in my brilliance and use my talent.

I feel lucky that the ripple effect of my work is so big.

And maybe most of all, I feel lucky that I’ve been able to not only endure, but deeply evolve and transform from all of the bumps in the road. I’ve got some battle scars, but I’m a better person and a better leader because of all of it.

I’m grateful for all of it. And I’m grateful for you allowing me to share my story with you. By reading this, you were willing to look behind the curtain and experience deeper truth with me.

And that tells me a lot about you.

If you stand with me. If you stand for Mastery in your work. If you choose to embrace a beginners mind, stay humble, keep learning and expanding your self, your skills and your capacity… will you let me know?

 

Yes, I am with you Joanna!

 

Thank you for being on this journey with me.

 

 

 

Cue the hate mail… [Part 4 of 5]

So, what happens when you call out an entire industry to a higher level of mastery?

Well, there were some folks that immediately loved what I was sharing and teaching and offering. These were mostly my die-hard fans who already knew the secret sauce I was teaching, saw the results for themselves, and wanted more of it.

But everyone else….they didn’t like it so much.

I initially had a lot of opt-outs in my newsletter community (and honestly, I continue to have a steady stream of opt-outs). The new messaging was too radical and went against the grain of everything the industry was saying about success.

It’s been many, many years since opt-out notifications go directly to my inbox. I learned pretty early on that every time I’d get an opt-out notification, I’d get insulted, embarrassed, angry, guilty, self-judgmental and eventually totally negative about my business in a doomsday sort of way. (Have I mentioned I’m a dramatic person sometimes?).

So now opt-outs go to my assistant’s email, and I just take a look at my stats every month or so.

But even with all my learning about how to energetically manage opt-outs, seeing so many community members go when I changed my messaging felt hard and harsh. I had expected it, but still had to do a lot of inner work to not go down the rabbit hole of “everything is falling apart and I will become hated and destitute!”

The opt-outs weren’t the worst part, though.

The hate mail was.

Oh, did the haters come out of the woodworks! They called me a fraud, they called me a villain, they called me stupid and irresponsible, they made fun of my speaking voice (yes, I got called a Valley Girl!), they used every curse word you can think of, they told me I sucked.

Not just via email, but on social media too.

This really, really hurt.

I don’t care what anyone says about knowing you’ve hit success if you’ve got Haters, or what Taylor Swift means when she sings about “The Haters gonna hate, hate hate….”. All that may be true, but when you get hate mail, and especially hate mail about something that is so important to you….it stings. It’s like a gut punch.

Your fight or flight response goes into overdrive and your reptilian brain feels like your life is being attacked and threatened.

In short, it is not fun.

I read one of the absolute worst emails (the one about my Valley Girl voice) in my car, just as I was about to walk into a Board Meeting at Yael’s preschool. I read the email and then rushed into the meeting.

We started talking about packed lunch rules for the next year and I burst into tears, running out of the room and straight to my car to go home and be hysterical all by myself. Till today, I still wonder if the other Board Members think I am particularly sensitive about turkey sandwiches and carrot sticks.

I got home, snot already covering the entirety of my face, wondering how I had been able to drive in that state. I straight changed into my pajamas, got under the covers, and cried for another hour or so.

And then I calmed down. And I saw the truth: that the woman’s nasty email to me wasn’t about me. It was about her. And her insecurities. And her fears.

I saw that if I was going to be serious about standing up for what I believe in, if I was going to fully own what I was put on this planet to do, if I was going to lead my business with integrity….

I was going to have to grow tougher skin, I was going to have to feel the gut-punch pain when icky things came my way but let it go pretty quickly, I was going to have more faith & confidence in myself.

And I’ve had to learn that lesson over and over and over again these last 20 months.

So, what about now?

Click here to read Part 5!

 

How Birkenstocks changed me [Part 3 of 5]

It may sound kind of silly, but I had visions of myself as I was when I was 15. I was the first kid in my high school (maybe in the whole state of NJ!) to wear Birkenstock.

This was a TOTAL, ABRUPT break from the fashion of the day, and I remember walking down the hallway going to Advanced Biology class and random kids heckling me, calling me Girl Jesus (cause apparently he wore sandals too), and telling me to go back to the 60s (it was 1991).

It was almost as if my breaking pattern from the normal clothing felt threatening to these teenage kids. It put their identities at stake.

It took a lot of courage to put those Birkenstock on that morning…and a part of me didn’t want to wear them ever again after that first day. I cared too much about what people (strangers!) thought of me. I cared too much about being accepted. I cared too much about being perceived as “cool”. I didn’t want to be made fun of. I didn’t want to be hated.

But…I LOVED those sandals. I mean, I really, really loved those sandals. It may sound strange, but those sandals were more than just a pair of sandals. Those sandals were – finally – an article of clothing that fully expressed ME, that represented who I was, that I felt were made for my personality, my style, my energy.

And so I wore them again the next day.

It was not such a triumphant day, though. I got made fun of even more than the day before.

And I wore them again. And again. And again.

And you know what happened? I got more comfortable with being made fun of.

I saw that my friends, the people that loved me, still loved me. I got better and better at standing tall. And…well, wouldn’t you know it? Birkenstock eventually swept the nation and became cool!

So, my Birkenstocks were on my mind as I was shifting my messaging, gearing up to speak even more of my truth, to educate the industry in ways they hadn’t been educated before, to raise the question of getting better educated as a practitioner, and to speak out against some of the ways I felt the industry was not so in integrity.

But, just like I put on those sandals despite the fear, I shifted my programming and messaging despite the fear.

And, how did that go for me?

You’ll find out  in Part 4 of my 5-Part story. (hint: things got ugly).

Click here to read Part 4!