One of the Most Core Foundational Coaching Principles, Period

In my nineteen years of coaching, teaching, and facilitating…in my 10 years of parenting and working to raise daughters who are secure, confident and at peace…and in my many decades of being a human being communicating with family, friends, colleagues, and strangers…I have learned quite a bit about what it takes to hold space for deep growth, transformation, evolution and aligned action taking.

There is, of course, a lot that goes into this: mastery of questioning skills and listening skills and acknowledging skills and strategizing skills and reflection skills; mastery of working with resistance and working with fear and working with self-sabotage and working with Shadow. READ MORE

Help Your Clients Get off the Wheel of Sabotage

One of the worst feelings in the world is seeing that a client is engaging in self-sabotage, yet not knowing, as the coach, how to guide her out of this behavior.

When a client is engaging in self-sabotage behavior, it can look like:

  • Client has stopped taking actions toward her goals
  • Client is taking actions that are actually moving her backwards instead of forward
  • Client is in a place of fear, shame and self-judgment
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    My First Bra (& how it relates to coaching)

    Plainly put: I grew boobs before most of the other girls in my grade.

    But I was in denial. I wasn’t one of those girls who wanted to grow up quickly. Even at a young age, time felt precious to me and I didn’t want to get any older any quicker.

    One day, early Autumn of the sixth grade, my mom came into my room without knocking. She was carrying a white plastic bag from the discount store, Marshalls. Very unceremoniously, she dumped the contents of the bag onto my bed. It was three bras…all white…looking pretty intimidating to me.

    “Time to start wearing a bra,” my mom told me.

    My mother and I had never had a conversation on the topic before. The foreign objects on my bed, in combination with the matter-of-factness of my mother’s voice felt shocking to me. I felt intruded upon, slightly under attack, maybe a little ashamed… and definitely wanted to have nothing to do with those bras. And wanted to have even less to do with my mom at that moment.

    I eventually wore one of the bras to school (& total hilarity ensued; that’s a story for another day), but why am I sharing this story with you?

    Because this was a GREAT example of what NOT to do when you are working with clients and wanting to Create Awareness for them.

    Creating Awareness is a vital coaching skill and coaching competency.

    Part of your job as a coach is to support clients to become aware of certain facts, ideas, notions and steps that they can’t see themselves. But HOW you support those clients to become aware makes all the difference.

    The truth is that my mother was right. Looking back now, I can see that in terms of how mature my physical body was, I was long overdue for a bra. It really was time.

    But while my body was ready, I personally needed to be invited to do so in a way that honored ALL of me. I needed maybe for my mom to create some tenderness and intimacy around the topic first. I needed maybe for her to ask my permission to talk about something sensitive. I needed for her to ask me how I felt about it and what was right for me.

    These are all components of the Creating Awareness skill you want to be using with clients.

    You may have an insight or piece of information that is TOTALLY vital for your client to hear. You want to be very, very VERY intentional about how you deliver that piece of information, how you create that awareness.

    It will make all the difference in the world in terms of how open or resistant your client will be to the new information, how they feel about themselves as they take in the new information, and how they trust and feel connected to you.

    So next time you are Creating Awareness with a client, take a moment to think about how you want to do it!

    State of the Union: The Transformational Industry

    State of the Union: The Transformational IndustryThe Transformational industry that I love so dearly is rapidly changing right now, and I want you to know what you can do to ensure that you are a practitioner who is totally in integrity, totally fulfilled, totally doing the deep and sacred work you’re meant to be doing…and to ensure that you are one of the practitioners who will actually have staying power as we leap into the next decade of this industry.

    Before I get to the critical pieces here, let me say this: I’m going to be sharing some hard truths, but with love and compassion. I want you to know that even with all of the critiques and hard truths I’ll be sharing, I absolutely love the coaching & transformational industries. It is one of the honors of my life to be one of the leaders of the industry. I believe there is so much goodness and so many wonderful practitioners. I believe that we are indeed making a very positive impact in the world. READ MORE

    Behind the scenes at my Shadow & Archetype Facilitator’s Retreat

    It was recently pointed out to me that I don’t often share with you, my beloved community, the profound magic & learning that happens at my training retreats, so here we go!

    Two weeks ago I led a special training retreat for Advanced Facilitators to learn how to leverage Shadow and Archetype for greater healing and transformation in their retreats and workshops.

    This particular training is one of my favorites and the growth in the room is always astronomical.

    One of the reasons I teach this particular training is because I believe it is SO important for coaches, teachers, healers, and workshop leaders to have a firm understanding that in order for their clients to feel fully whole and complete, and in order for their clients to have access to all of their power….they MUST be willing to look at, embrace, and ultimately love ALL parts of themselves.

    Not just the pretty parts. Not just the shiny parts. Not just the “acceptable” parts. ALL parts.

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    What are your clients addicted to?

    When I was one year into being an entrepreneur, I found myself working 70-hour weeks. It was grueling and kind of crazy, but I told myself that I needed to work hard in order to get my business off the ground.

    Three years after that, when my business was solid and established, I was still working 70-hour weeks, if not 80 or sometimes 90! It ate away at my personal time, my self-care time, my spiritual time, and my social time. But I told myself that I needed to work hard in order to maintain my business and keep it going.

    I believed this with all my heart and soul.

    I believed it so much that nothing could stop me from working from early morning until late at night. I worked through social engagements. I worked through evenings when I could have been spending time with my husband. I worked through the times I promised myself I’d go to yoga class.

    It didn’t matter how many new plans I made to work less, how much time management I tried to apply. Nothing worked. Because…

    I was addicted to over-working. READ MORE

    6 steps to start working with fear (for you & your clients!)

    If you are a soul-centered human being and you’re in business, chances are pretty great that you come up against fears sometimes (or more than sometimes!). If you don’t know how to respond to those fears, they can become massive obstacles in the way of achieving your goals.

    Some of the most common business-related fears are:

    –Fear of being rejected

    –Fear of seeming too “sales-y”
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