A couple of weeks ago I had a personal training session at the gym scheduled for 10am.
I was really looking forward to getting there early, doing some cardio and then my strength training.
Jon left for Whole Foods with the kids, and I got my workout clothing on. When I couldn’t find my car keys, I realized…they were in the diaper bag with Jon!!! This meant not being able to get to the gym, not working out, but still having to pay for my session.
My first impulse was to get angry and blame Jon — “How could he have taken the diaper bag without looking inside first!”
My second impulse was to go straight into the familiar cloak of victimhood: “Everything goes wrong for me…I never get the time I need for myself…”
Over the last decade, I’ve become very aware of my tendency to allow myself to go down the rabbit hole of dejection and defeat when something doesn’t go my way or when I get scared. Victimhood is the pattern of feeling like you can’t win, like a force (or that God) is against you, like no matter how hard you try or what actions you take, you’ll always get burned.
The Victim can’t see facts for facts, can’t really and truly be positive, and doesn’t know how to take responsibility for him or herself. The Victim also isn’t interested in solutions. She’s more interested in rolling around in her misery and hopelessness. When your Victim is out to play, she rejects any solutions or problem-solving ideas.
If you’ve got an active “Victim” lurking inside of you, she is probably running the show of your life a lot of the time.