Alright, here we go. This is probably the least serious article I’ll ever write, but hopefully it will have more substance for you than you might think. Here are some out-of-the-box, slightly whimsical, quick and fun yet very powerful questions to set yourself up for an AMAZING 2019!
Just like everyone else, I’ve had some doozy client situations. What has really helped me become better and better and better as a practitioner is being willing to look closely and assess carefully client cases that aren’t working so well…even if it’s uncomfortable – almost painful! – to do so! (This is why in my coach trainings, we always have Client Case Clinics to look at the stuff that comes up).
I thought it would be valuable for you if I shared my Worst Client Case Study, and what I learned from it. Here we go!:
In my nineteen years of coaching, teaching, and facilitating…in my 10 years of parenting and working to raise daughters who are secure, confident and at peace…and in my many decades of being a human being communicating with family, friends, colleagues, and strangers…I have learned quite a bit about what it takes to hold space for deep growth, transformation, evolution and aligned action taking.
There is, of course, a lot that goes into this: mastery of questioning skills and listening skills and acknowledging skills and strategizing skills and reflection skills; mastery of working with resistance and working with fear and working with self-sabotage and working with Shadow. READ MORE
In my 15 years of facilitating Transformational Experiences for thousands of individuals and groups, I’ve come to learn that there are certain skills and elements you need to master as a leader and facilitator in order to be successful at creating lasting shifts, healing and real openings for your participants.
In fact, what I’ve come to see is that without these tools, things can go very, very wrong – your workshops can fall flat or not go deep enough, or someone in the group will dominate and upset everyone else, or you will misuse your energy and feel exhausted and spent.
Here is a snapshot of some of the most valuable tools I’ve developed over hundreds and hundreds of rituals and workshops:
- Create and Hold a Tight and Safe Container:
This is the most important tool to facilitating any kind of ritual of transformational experience for an individual or group. If your container is leaky, you will find that participants get bored or don’t go as deep as they could, or get upset at you or others in the group.
From the very beginning – literally from the moment you walk in the room – you must make sure you are creating a very tight container, an environment that feels safe enough for your participants to open up, be vulnerable, share with you and the group, and transform.
And you must make sure you hold that container throughout the work so that it remains tight and doesn’t fall apart.
Want to know THE most important component of Transformational Facilitation & Coaching?
It’s not about the facilitation skills you master – of course, those are SUPER important and necessary in order to create results and deep healing for your participants. READ MORE
Folks who experience my retreats, workshops and talks often ask me how I am able to create and lead events where participants feel so present, so vulnerable, so connected to me and each other, and so deeply transformed.
My answer is always the same: MASTERY.
You need to master your coaching and facilitation skills in order to go from leading a “nice” event to leading a “WOW” event.
You need to master your coaching and facilitation skills to create experiences that your audiences will never forget.
(integrate this into EVERY coaching session, workshop, retreat and curriculum you create)
If you’re keyed in to the self-development and transformation industries, you know that a lot of folks right now are pretty pissed off at the services they’re receiving:
They are complaining that they’re not shifting,
they’re not learning,
they’re not transforming,
and they’re not growing.
Now of course, some of the complaints are total BS (excuse my language).
If you are a coach, practitioner, facilitator or healer who likes to go deep, you and I are definitely coming from the same place.
I wrote today’s “love letter” and manifesto for you to inspire you to keep on doing what you’re doing and to remind you of the incredible value that you offer.
It’s too easy to lose sight of this in a transformational industry that can sometimes be a bit flashy or surface-oriented.
We created the manifesto as a pretty PDF so that you can print it out and keep it close at hand when you need it.
Here it is: http://JoannaLindenbaum.com/LoveLetterPDF
The Transformational industry that I love so dearly is rapidly changing right now, and I want you to know what you can do to ensure that you are a practitioner who is totally in integrity, totally fulfilled, totally doing the deep and sacred work you’re meant to be doing…and to ensure that you are one of the practitioners who will actually have staying power as we leap into the next decade of this industry.
Before I get to the critical pieces here, let me say this: I’m going to be sharing some hard truths, but with love and compassion. I want you to know that even with all of the critiques and hard truths I’ll be sharing, I absolutely love the coaching & transformational industries. It is one of the honors of my life to be one of the leaders of the industry. I believe there is so much goodness and so many wonderful practitioners. I believe that we are indeed making a very positive impact in the world. READ MORE
A colleague of mine recently confessed something that truly shocked me. She is a hardworking professional, someone I respect and admire, someone who exudes competence, authority, and wisdom – yet she told me this unbelievable story:
She had just agreed to work with a new client, and to begin their partnership she was to attend a training to familiarize herself with the client’s policies and procedures. The meeting took over three hours, and at the end of it, she examined the contractor’s agreement that the client had drawn up. In it, the terms of payment were outlined clearly, but nowhere was there any indication that this training session was to be paid. The client expected to not pay her for the training, and to never let her know upfront. Stunned and speechless, she signed the document, and that was that. She said nothing to change that expectation.
Does this sort of thing ever happen to you? Do you find yourself allowing others to eat up your time in ways that don’t feel right to you?
So, how can you help others to recognize that YOUR time is sacred? To RESPECT it? The key here is to address it head on. When you establish rules & boundaries for your time, you make it clear to others that it is valuable.
Each group of people in your soul-centered project and life needs to be educated in different ways so you can honor and protect your time:
How to Protect Your Time with Clients:
Once you realize that your schedule isn’t working for you and that you want to change it, (see Part 1 of this article on how to determine this) you need to communicate that to the people in your community. This can make even the most confident of us quail a bit, but take heart: I have never lost a single client due to changing my schedule. The key is to let clients know that your schedule will be changing with integrity and in a way that’s aligned with your energy. The new schedule will benefit both you and your client because with a schedule that TRULY works for you, you’ll have even more energy to serve them.
Let your clients know that your schedule is changing by sending an email that says something like this:
“Dear X, I’m excited to let you know that as of October 1, my hours are changing. My new hours are [insert new client hours here]. This schedule will allow me to focus even more fully on you, and serve you in even stronger ways than I have in the past. If you have any questions at all on this, please don’t hesitate to contact me.” This is a simple, fuss-free way to create new boundaries with clients.
How to Protect Your Time with Clients in Session-Based Appointments:
With session-based appointments, it is easy to run overtime, and if it happens once, it tends to continue over and over. It’s easy to get annoyed at clients for this or to get frustrated, but the truth is that it’s on YOU to end your sessions at the appropriate time.
Here are some tips:
- Five minutes before the end of the session, directly tell the client that the session is ending and it’s time to wrap up
- Lead them to this with some wrap-up questions or instructions
- If the issue persists: Send clients an email letting them know that while you’ve been giving extra session time until now, that starting immediately, you’ll be honoring your session time. Let them know that this will help you serve more effectively, and will help you act as a model for them.
How to Protect Your Time with Team Members:
I hear from many folks that there are sometimes team members who haven’t been taking on responsibility, or are doing something the wrong way over and over, and those mistakes are costing time & money. If you have trouble setting boundaries, you might feel awkward, uncomfortable, or guilty about rocking the boat and letting that person know they have to take responsibility. But in your heart, you know that saying nothing will never solve it. The process here has a few steps.
- Get clear on what the team member hasn’t been doing or has been doing incorrectly – both for yourself and for the team member. I highly suggest doing this in person or over the phone – NOT over email.
- Let them know the consequences or repercussions of this: for example, “Every time you make a mistake with scheduling, it costs me time and my clients are not happy” or “I am up all night worrying that such and such did not get done; I am exhausted from it.” It is important that your team members understand exactly how their mistakes are affecting you, your clients, and your business.
- Ask what support they need so they can do it correctly and in the right time, and give them a clear timeframe by which the issue needs to be resolved.
- If the problem is a recurring issue then it may be time to acknowledge that the job is not a good fit for that person, and you need to let him or her go.
How to Protect Your Time with Partners Around Childcare or Household Duties:
If you’re taking on more responsibility at home than you want to, get clear on your need. Then get clear on why your need is so important. For example: I’m very busy with the kids and the house, and in all my extra time I’m working, but I really need time to exercise. If I had time to exercise 3 times per week, I’d be more relaxed, more energized, and not feel stressed and cranky all the time.
- Set a time to speak with your partner – springing these conversations on people is never conducive to success! Make sure you have enough time and space and no distractions to have this conversation about your needs.
- Speak from your heart lovingly about your need and why you need it. Ask your partner to either take on the task or to help find an alternate resolution. The key here isn’t to blame, but to make an aligned request. You might need to tweak or negotiate or brainstorm together from there, but the important thing is to make the request.
When you show others that your time is valuable by setting boundaries in these ways, you create a paradigm that fosters your ability to work efficiently, and promotes success in all your efforts.