When Someone Steals Your Work

A few months ago I was scrolling through Facebook, I noticed a post from someone who has taken ALL of my training programs over the last years. Turns out she had just put together her OWN transformational practitioner training, and she was posting pics and videos from her retreat.

As I was watching one of her videos, I saw that she was straight up using content as her own that had taken me decades to develop, and even using all my sets of journaling questions – WORD FOR WORD.

As you can imagine, this was upsetting to me. For one thing, it simply made my stomach turn to see that my curriculum that was so special to me, so nurtured by me over so many years, was being used by someone else who was masquerading it as their own.

And yet, even though I was so so angry and so so upset at her….

….and even though it should have immediately been so clear that she was in the wrong….

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Mini Podcast: Why Does Mastery Matter?

If you’re in the line coaching or transformation work, you know just how critical the energy you bring to the table is in determining the outcome of your work with clients.

When it comes to what you believe about yourself, your abilities, and your clients, there are no effective hiding places.

It doesn’t even matter how brilliant, talented, or wise you actually are.

If you secretly believe otherwise, it will affect how your clients feel about working with you, and that will in turn influence the depth of the work you’ll be able to do together.

The inner work you do is critical to your practice.

And it’s not just about believing in yourself and where you’re at, it’s about believing in your clients and their ability to show up and do the work.

We all have doubts sometimes and wonder if we’re the real deal. That’s 100% ok. 

It’s what you do with those doubts that determines whether or not you’ll truly move past them to be a skillful, loving, insightful and transformational force in the lives of those you serve.

Because integrity means everything to people, like you and me, who are here to co-create powerful transformations with others.

That’s why this week’s mini- podcast (5 minutes packed with goodness!) will cover everything you need to know about making sure your energy is aligned, confident, effective, and steeped in integrity.

I’m also going to cover the three main things every transformational coach needs in order to succeed.

Don’t miss it.

Mini Podcast: The Connection Between Coaching Mastery and Sales Mastery

Coaches often make the mistake of separating their powerful coaching skills and their ability to have consistent successful enrollment conversations with prospective clients.

I’m here to tell you nothing could be more deeply connected.

They are inextricably related in ways you may not have considered.

This one shift can completely change the momentum of your business.

In this week’s podcast, we’re going to look at exactly how the depth of your coaching skills influence your ability to have enrollment conversations that end with clients deciding to work with you, and what you can do to master both.

We’ll explore how masterful listening allows you to be able to listen three layers down below what’s being said, in order to connect with what’s really going on in their lives. 

I’ll also cover why having exquisite breakthrough questioning skills will ensure you’re asking the right questions, so your prospects can see precisely how you can help them.

You can have the best marketing in the world, you can be writing killer posts, and having non-stop engagement with your audience, but if you can’t create stellar enrollment conversations that convert, you can’t build your business.

So join me for this week’s mini-podcast (5 minutes packed with goodness!) to ensure you’re bringing the presence, energetics, and soul set of a transformational leader to everything you do.

Real Talk About Integrity, Part 1 (& my recent journey with it)

If you know me or my work at all, you know that Integrity is at the heart of it.

I am allergic to a lot of the not-so-kosher practices in the coaching, healing, transformational and marketing industries that are passed of as the norm. They make my stomach turn.

One of the most important things I’ve learned over my decades of being an Integrity Seeker and Crusader is that the more Integrity you bring to your work with clients, the BETTER and more transformational and more deep the work becomes.

This is a fact.

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Cue the hate mail… [Part 4 of 5]

So, what happens when you call out an entire industry to a higher level of mastery?

Well, there were some folks that immediately loved what I was sharing and teaching and offering. These were mostly my die-hard fans who already knew the secret sauce I was teaching, saw the results for themselves, and wanted more of it.

But everyone else….they didn’t like it so much.

I initially had a lot of opt-outs in my newsletter community (and honestly, I continue to have a steady stream of opt-outs). The new messaging was too radical and went against the grain of everything the industry was saying about success.

It’s been many, many years since opt-out notifications go directly to my inbox. I learned pretty early on that every time I’d get an opt-out notification, I’d get insulted, embarrassed, angry, guilty, self-judgmental and eventually totally negative about my business in a doomsday sort of way. (Have I mentioned I’m a dramatic person sometimes?).

So now opt-outs go to my assistant’s email, and I just take a look at my stats every month or so.

But even with all my learning about how to energetically manage opt-outs, seeing so many community members go when I changed my messaging felt hard and harsh. I had expected it, but still had to do a lot of inner work to not go down the rabbit hole of “everything is falling apart and I will become hated and destitute!”

The opt-outs weren’t the worst part, though.

The hate mail was.

Oh, did the haters come out of the woodworks! They called me a fraud, they called me a villain, they called me stupid and irresponsible, they made fun of my speaking voice (yes, I got called a Valley Girl!), they used every curse word you can think of, they told me I sucked.

Not just via email, but on social media too.

This really, really hurt.

I don’t care what anyone says about knowing you’ve hit success if you’ve got Haters, or what Taylor Swift means when she sings about “The Haters gonna hate, hate hate….”. All that may be true, but when you get hate mail, and especially hate mail about something that is so important to you….it stings. It’s like a gut punch.

Your fight or flight response goes into overdrive and your reptilian brain feels like your life is being attacked and threatened.

In short, it is not fun.

I read one of the absolute worst emails (the one about my Valley Girl voice) in my car, just as I was about to walk into a Board Meeting at Yael’s preschool. I read the email and then rushed into the meeting.

We started talking about packed lunch rules for the next year and I burst into tears, running out of the room and straight to my car to go home and be hysterical all by myself. Till today, I still wonder if the other Board Members think I am particularly sensitive about turkey sandwiches and carrot sticks.

I got home, snot already covering the entirety of my face, wondering how I had been able to drive in that state. I straight changed into my pajamas, got under the covers, and cried for another hour or so.

And then I calmed down. And I saw the truth: that the woman’s nasty email to me wasn’t about me. It was about her. And her insecurities. And her fears.

I saw that if I was going to be serious about standing up for what I believe in, if I was going to fully own what I was put on this planet to do, if I was going to lead my business with integrity….

I was going to have to grow tougher skin, I was going to have to feel the gut-punch pain when icky things came my way but let it go pretty quickly, I was going to have more faith & confidence in myself.

And I’ve had to learn that lesson over and over and over again these last 20 months.

So, what about now?

Click here to read Part 5!

 

How Birkenstocks changed me [Part 3 of 5]

It may sound kind of silly, but I had visions of myself as I was when I was 15. I was the first kid in my high school (maybe in the whole state of NJ!) to wear Birkenstock.

This was a TOTAL, ABRUPT break from the fashion of the day, and I remember walking down the hallway going to Advanced Biology class and random kids heckling me, calling me Girl Jesus (cause apparently he wore sandals too), and telling me to go back to the 60s (it was 1991).

It was almost as if my breaking pattern from the normal clothing felt threatening to these teenage kids. It put their identities at stake.

It took a lot of courage to put those Birkenstock on that morning…and a part of me didn’t want to wear them ever again after that first day. I cared too much about what people (strangers!) thought of me. I cared too much about being accepted. I cared too much about being perceived as “cool”. I didn’t want to be made fun of. I didn’t want to be hated.

But…I LOVED those sandals. I mean, I really, really loved those sandals. It may sound strange, but those sandals were more than just a pair of sandals. Those sandals were – finally – an article of clothing that fully expressed ME, that represented who I was, that I felt were made for my personality, my style, my energy.

And so I wore them again the next day.

It was not such a triumphant day, though. I got made fun of even more than the day before.

And I wore them again. And again. And again.

And you know what happened? I got more comfortable with being made fun of.

I saw that my friends, the people that loved me, still loved me. I got better and better at standing tall. And…well, wouldn’t you know it? Birkenstock eventually swept the nation and became cool!

So, my Birkenstocks were on my mind as I was shifting my messaging, gearing up to speak even more of my truth, to educate the industry in ways they hadn’t been educated before, to raise the question of getting better educated as a practitioner, and to speak out against some of the ways I felt the industry was not so in integrity.

But, just like I put on those sandals despite the fear, I shifted my programming and messaging despite the fear.

And, how did that go for me?

You’ll find out  in Part 4 of my 5-Part story. (hint: things got ugly).

Click here to read Part 4!

 

Then, it got harder… [Part 2 of 5]

Do you know the most challenging part of shifting my business? The part that really had me shaking in my boots?

It wasn’t just about changing my messaging.

It was about the fact that my ideal client had already been educated by the industry on the importance of getting marketing support (think about ALL the information about there on the importance of marketing)…

…But my ideal client definitely had NOT been educated at all on the importance of being the best practitioner you can be, on the importance of devoting time & energy to leveling up the skills in your toolbox to help your clients.

The market was so saturated with information on all the newfangled marketing strategies that practitioners were possibly not placing value on deepening their craft.

I knew that it would take quite a bit of work to start educating the masses so that they would be interested enough in my offerings.

I also knew that it would be much, much, MUCH harder for practitioners to admit to themselves that they needed help transforming their clients than to admit they needed marketing support.

And I feared it would take a lot of time for my lone voice to stand out and be heard among a sea of online marketers preaching that anyone can be a superstar so long as they market correctly.

And this brought me to the next hard thing I realized I was going to have to do: speak out against some of the practices in the coaching and transformational industry.

Now, even though I was no stranger to standing out or speaking out in the industry; I had definitely done my share of that already….this felt different. I had this deep intuitive sense that people’s feathers would get really ruffled – more than ruffled, that they would get downright pissed off at me – if I were to suggest that marketing wasn’t the holy grail, the end all be all to a successful business.

And, woah, it got a little ugly…

Click here to read Part 3!