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business development

What To Do When a Client is Pissed Off Or Overly-Demanding

February 15, 2019 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

If you are in the business of working with human beings, no matter how amazing you are, a moment will come when a client will get pissed off at you, judgmental of you, or overly-demanding.

It can at first feel really icky. You can feel like you’re not doing a good enough job, like you need to give more and more, and like other professionals are doing a much better job than you. You can also find that you don’t know what to do next with the client.

When you encounter a client who is being Judgmental and demanding in this way, it might sound something like this (maybe not these exact words, but this is at the core of what they say or write to you):

You’re not doing it good enough

You’re not giving me enough

I’m not getting what I deserve here

The things you’re doing aren’t working for me, and you should know better!

I don’t like this part and this part and this part of your program

You’re not meeting my needs

You need to change “this” right away

So what do you do when this happens?

1) Manage Your Own Triggers so you can Respect Yourself & Your Client:

Usually the first thing that happens for a coach or practitioner when their client goes into Criticism, Anger, Judgment or Demands is for the coach to internally freak out, to feel really terrible about themselves and their performance, or to feel out of control, or to get angry back at the client.

None of the internal freak-out is going to be of service to you to shift your client out of their resistance and into a more open place. So the very first thing you want to do when you encounter The Judge or The Demanding One in a client, is to work on your own triggers.

Working on your own triggers means really unpacking your own beliefs around anger, around over-giving, around boundaries, and around feeling like you’re enough. This is an important element of the work I do when I train coaches because you can have the best coaching skills in the world, but if you’re triggered or not bringing aligned ‘energetics” into your coaching relationships and conversations, you’re not really able to help your clients.

2) Objectively Assess if You’ve Missed the Mark in Your Deliverables:

When a client shows up as demanding or faulting you for something you haven’t done for them, 9 times out of 10, it has absolutely NOTHING to do with what you’ve delivered or how you’ve shown up. Chances are you’ve really performed well and given what you’ve promised (more on what to do in that case in a moment).

But that being said, there is always the outside chance that you have misstepped in a considerable way, not delivered on a promise, or not met a legitimate need.

This is why it’s really important to objectively hear your client’s concern (or anger, or demand), assess if there is something you’ve missed, and if you have, problem solve on how to right the wrong or provide for the need.

Usually, there is a very simple solution…if, and only if….you’re willing to objectively assess AND ALSO you’ve got your triggers in check. If you haven’t managed your triggers and try to assess, there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to be objective about it and you will either not see what you missed in your delivery or you’ll feel so badly about yourself that you’ll won’t see a solution, or try to overcompensate….or worse, give up.

3) Lovingly Work with & Address Your Client’s Resistance or Shadow

As I said above, 9 times out of 10, when a client is angry at you or demanding that you haven’t done something right or enough…it’s usually NOT true. And it’s not about you.

It’s about your client.

And her own Resistance to Growth or Shadow of Anger or Judgment.

Now, working with client Resistance and Shadow are BIG topics, and I teach those techniques thoroughly in Sacred Depths Coach Training and Into the Depths Facilitator Training.

But here a few pointers to get some wheels spinning for you. You want to be able to:

— Recognize the Resistance or the Shadow
(these terms get thrown around a lot in the Transformational Industry, but very few practitioners actually know what they mean, what the difference between the two are, and how to spot them)

–Manage your own Triggers
(see above)

–Don’t be scared of your client’s emotions, anger or judgment
(as soon as you get scared or intimidated or make it mean something about you, you’re not as equipped to lead)

–Lovingly call out & create awareness your client around the pattern that’s coming up for her
(people that get angry or judgmental don’t do it out of thin air. They have a history of it, whether they realize it or not, and are patterned to do so as a coping mechanism or self-sabotage vehicle. As their coach, you want to be able to lovingly yet firmly guide your client to awareness around their pattern).

–Normalize the Pattern
(if you don’t Normalize the Pattern and show how there is nothing wrong with it, your client will go into shame around the pattern and will be less open to deeper awareness and growth around it).

–Create Awareness around the Origin Story and Primary Purpose
(the more you can help your client uncover the Resistance, the Shadow or the Pattern Origin Story & Primary Purpose, then the more conscious choice she has in choosing another way of being and operating)

–Create Space for New Solutions, Energies and Patterns for your Client to Lean Into
(do this in a variety of ways including helping her own the higher level Shadow energy, or re-working the Origin Story, or Re-Wiring the Neural Pathway, and much more!)

4) Set Appropriate Boundaries:

This is a very important element to put into place when a client is inappropriately Angry, Demanding or in Judgment. Get very clear with yourself on what you are willing and not willing to do or hold for them, and then very clearly and very lovingly communicate that boundary. This step is most effective after you’ve done the 3 previous steps. If you skip to this one, you will either not set an aligned boundary, or not set it in a clear and loving way, or…your client will be stuck in their Resistance or Shadow to be able to take it in or accept it.

So there you have it! Some beginning pointers on how to handle pissed off or overly-demanding clients. Would love to hear your takeaways on this one!

Posted in: Client Care, Uncategorized Tagged: business, business coach, business development, Empowerment, fear, Goals, Intuition, joanna lindenbaum, joint venture, marketing, marketing formula, Money, networking, online marketing, Personal Development, Productivity, Stress management, Success, time management, visibility

This Coaching Standard Does More Harm Than Good

February 8, 2019 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

Over the summer, I had a private session with a client who had been in session with her healer the week before.

My client was telling me that her Healer had intuited that she needed to go to the beach for a week. It sounded like a good idea to my client because she trusts this healer’s intuition, yet she told him she was feeling stressed out and pressured because she just couldn’t figure out how to make a week away that month fit with her life.

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Posted in: Client Care, Coaching & Facilitation Tagged: business, business coach, business development, coaching questions, coaching skills, Empowerment, fear, Goals, Intuition, joanna lindenbaum, Mindset, Personal Development, positive thinking, relationship, self confidence, self love

Love

January 11, 2019 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

Yes, you heard me right: whether I’ve been working with my client for years….or even if we are just at the very beginning of our coaching relationship and I don’t know my client that well yet…first and foremost, I am always going to love & honor my client.

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Posted in: Client Care, Facilitation Tagged: business, business coach, business development, coaching questions, coaching skills, Empowerment, fear, Goals, Intuition, joanna lindenbaum, Mindset, Personal Development, positive thinking, relationship, self confidence, self love, Success, time management

3 Questions to Ask Yourself That Will Upgrade Your Coaching & Client Work

December 7, 2018 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

Of course, learning new skills and techniques to use with clients is important and really helps you go deeper and stronger with them. You absolutely need that. But another thing that’s really helpful is simply asking YOURSELF questions that will take you deeper into your own inner wisdom, your own self-awareness, and your own understanding of your client’s situation.

Here are 3 questions I recommend journaling on after EVERY client session you have over the next week or two. You will learn LOADS from this and upgrade your work through it. Eventually, you’ll automatically start asking yourself these questions while you’re actually in session, and be able to fine tune and strengthen your sessions right then and there.

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Posted in: Business Development, Client Care, Coaching & Facilitation Tagged: business development, coaching questions, coaching skills, joanna lindenbaum, Personal Development, relationships, Success

3 New Developments That Completely Change Your Practice

November 15, 2018 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

Just like every industry, the coaching and transformation industries go through different cycles and stages of evolution that are critical.

Right now, we are going through MASSIVE developments that are changing EVERYTHING about the industry. The more you know and understand what these developments are, the better equipped you’ll be to grow a business with staying power.

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Posted in: Business, Business Development, Coaching Industry Tagged: business development, coaching questions, coaching skills, joanna lindenbaum, Personal Development, relationships, Success

A Not-So-Secret Ingredient to my Coaching Secret Sauce

September 13, 2018 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

My first business coach, who in so many ways was truly a wonderful coach and mentor, taught me a lot about boundaries. She was the first person to really open my eyes to the dangers of over-giving and allowing yourself to be treated (or treating yourself) like a doormat.

I will be forever grateful for all she taught me in this area. I really learned how to respect my time and respect my boundaries because of it.

But.

And this is a big “but”.

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Posted in: Coaching Skills Tagged: business, business coach, business development, coaching questions, coaching skills, Empowerment, fear, Goals, Intuition, joanna lindenbaum, Personal Development, self confidence, self love, Success, time management

I was scared to post this….

August 30, 2018 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

In lieu of a full blog post, I wanted to share with you a recent post I wrote on Facebook.

I was scared to hit post on it because I know it’s a little controversial….
and I wasn’t sure if it would trigger some people…
but I ultimately decided to post it because I feel so strongly about it.

It’s about coaching & coaching skills & ethics & so much more.

You’ll see it got some attention and a lot of folks commented very passionately on it.

Here it is: https://www.facebook.com/joanna.lindenbaum/posts/10155812738623437

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Posted in: Business Coach, Coaching Skills Tagged: business, business coach, business development, coaching questions, coaching skills, Empowerment, fear, Goals, Intuition, joanna lindenbaum, niche, Personal Development, positive thinking, relationships, self love, Success, visibility, women, women's empowerment

The Good, the Bad & the Ugly of the Coaching Industry

January 19, 2018 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

More and more women who come to me start by saying they don’t really trust the coaching industry.

They share that the marketing they see feels really glitzy and sales-y, as if celebrity coaches are inflating what’s possible as well as what’s really happening in their own business.

They tell me they’re scared of needing to have “Hell Yeah” attitudes in order to succeed, or being inauthentic in order to attract clients. They also admit that they feel pressure to spend what feels like a bazillion dollars in order to receive “formulas” that they sense aren’t really for them.

Hearing all this saddens me greatly.

Because I know that there are some not-so-pretty things happening in this industry that I love so dearly. And I also know that those not-so-pretty things are damaging women more than supporting them.

The coaching “noise” is everywhere — over social media, in your inbox, spoken from colleagues. It’s hard to know what’s Truth and what’s not.

If you’ve been part of my community, you know that over the last few years, I’ve spoken out more and more about what I call “glamour coaching” and why it is dangerous.

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Posted in: Business, Business Coach, Business Development, Coaching Skills, Empowerment, Mindset, Personal Development, Women, Women's Empowerment Tagged: business, business coach, business development, Empowerment, joanna lindenbaum, Personal Development, soulful coach, soulful coaching, Soulful Coaching for Busy Women, women, women's empowerment

Leading your clients when your personal life takes over

January 12, 2018 by Joanna Lindenbaum Leave a Comment

Joanna Lindenbaum and children

A few years ago, while I was leading a group call with nearly 30 women, my parents telephoned me on both my home phone and my cell phone 4 times within about 2 minutes.

I could feel my heart start beating faster as I was coaching. My mother has had MS for 30 years, and there have been many emergencies, hospital visits, and even life-support situations over the years.

A version of me 3 years ago would have tried to ignore her calls until I was done teaching — yet be scared & un-present to my teaching the entire time — because I wouldn’t want to come off as unprofessional.

An even older version of myself would have freaked out completely, told the folks on the call that I needed to reschedule, and then go on to deal with whatever was happening.

Last week, instead, at an appropriate pause in between spotlight coaching moments, I let the women on the call know that my parents had called 4 times and that I was concerned enough to feel I should call back, but that it would only take a moment. I asked everyone on the call to hold for just a minute and quickly called my mom. There was a slight emergency situation, but nothing very serious. I was able to get off the phone in under 90 seconds, return to my clients with full presence, and then take care of the situation at an appropriate time.

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Posted in: Business, Business Coach, Business Development, Empowerment, Mindset, Personal Development, Stress Management, Women, Women's Empowerment Tagged: business, business coach, business development, joanna lindenbaum, Personal Development, positive thinking, Productivity, self confidence, self love, soulful coach, soulful coaching, Soulful Coaching for Busy Women, Success, women, women's empowerment

The Struggle About What To Charge

October 28, 2016 by Joanna Lindenbaum 1 Comment

In this moment, I can’t actually think of any client I’ve ever worked with that hasn’t at some point wondered or (most likely) agonized over what to charge. And I confess, I certainly have grappled with this many times in the past as well.

The question about where to set your rates brings up a whole slew of internal questions and judgments:

How valuable is my work?

What will people think when they hear my rates?

What are other people in my industry charging?

Will anyone buy from me at all?

Am I undercharging?

Am I overcharging?

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Posted in: Business, Business Coach, Business Development, Empowerment, Ideal Client, Mindset, Money, Personal Development, Positive thinking, Rates, Self-Confidence, Self-Love, Success, What to Charge, Women, Women's Empowerment Tagged: business, business coach, business development, joanna lindenbaum, Mindset, Personal Development, positive thinking, Productivity, rates, self confidence, self love, soulful coach, soulful coaching, Soulful Coaching for Busy Women, Success, women, women's empowerment ideal client
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