relationships

I was scared to post this….

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In lieu of a full blog post, I wanted to share with you a recent post I wrote on Facebook.

I was scared to hit post on it because I know it’s a little controversial….
and I wasn’t sure if it would trigger some people…
but I ultimately decided to post it because I feel so strongly about it.

It’s about coaching & coaching skills & ethics & so much more.

You’ll see it got some attention and a lot of folks commented very passionately on it.

Here it is: https://www.facebook.com/joanna.lindenbaum/posts/10155812738623437

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Some Of My Favorite Questions (& Answers!) About How to Create Powerful Referrals

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I get a lot of questions about how to generate quality referrals — it’s because a large part of my own business has been built through referrals.

In this world of constant online chatter, I find it so valuable to know how to create powerful referrals — they are almost always the most ideal prospects.

Here are some of my favorite questions (& answers) to help you create amazing referrals for your business!

Q: Do you need a huge community of followers in order to be able to generate referrals in your business?

A: Absolutely not! While it’s wonderful to have a huge community of followers, it’s definitely not necessary. What’s most important to be able to begin to generate powerful referrals is to have relationships with people who know and appreciate you – those people can be your clients, your colleagues, your friends, your old schoolmates, your family, or anyone else you know. You start your first round of referral campaigns there, and through that the contacts and followers grow.

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I Took A Look At Something Important This Week

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This last Monday, Penina had the day off school, and I strategically set up a playdate for her during Yael’s nap so that I could get some work done. Normally, I wouldn’t necessarily do this, but my babysitter was off most of last week, and I had stuff on my list to do.

As soon as I got Yael to sleep, I went to the computer to get through some emails.

About 5 minutes into it, Penina and her friend came downstairs, all dressed up — they wanted me to watch their play.

My first thought was "I don’t have time for this!"
My second thought was self-judgment that I would even think my first thought, because my kids are more important than anything to me.
My third thought was to chill out on myself.
I went upstairs.

While I was waiting for them to start, my mind was on the email I had left unwritten.

I didn’t even sit down, because I was thinking I’d watch them for a minute or two and then be able to get back to work.

They were dilly-dallying getting started, and I noticed some inner tension, because I wanted to send that email and write a newsletter article before Yael woke up.

And then Penina came "on the stage" and started singing. And as she sang, she looked at me to make sure I was listening closely. So I sat down.

And I decided to forget about the email and be fully present to my daughter and her friend. I started swaying to their singing and allowed myself to get fully caught up in the moment.

I pretty much ended up hanging out with them through Yael’s nap, deciding that this week’s newsletter could be a re-print of an older one I wrote, and that nothing would fall apart if emails went out a day later.

(This week’s newsletter article would have been a re-print, but I posted this originally on Facebook, and then I realized it was the newsletter article that I hadn’t written!)

I am clear on my priorities in my heart and soul, and most of the time in how I act. But I have to admit that every now and again my actions betray me. Sometimes I get caught between home and business. Or forget that one of the reasons I chose to be an entrepreneur in the first place was because I wanted more FREEDOM in my life to do what I want to do.

Today was a powerful reminder for me on how important it is to be vigilante when I slip into "work, work, work" — to realize it as quickly as possible and move out of it, so that I can have the life I want and a business that supports it.

Whether you have kids or not, living and being present to your LIFE is crucial. If you’re part of my community, you’re like me, and I know that while your business is important to you, it can’t be the end all, be all.

Where can you pay more attention to your life, starting TODAY?

What are the “little things” you do for your business that actually are big things and take you away from your life and freedom?

I would love to help you attract more aligned clients and visibility while also making choices that are right for you and your life. Fill out this 2-minute application, and we’ll set up a time to speak and see what you’re needing right now.

With love,
Joanna

How to Create Soul-Centered Relationships

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Is there a person in your life or at work who consistently lets you down? Does this person fail to give you the support you need, or make you feel resentful about the fairness of your relationship? Even if you really like or even love this person, do you suspect that this person is in some way detrimental to you or your soul-centered project?

Relationships are absolutely essential, even fundamental, to the success of any soul-centered venture. Soul-centered relationships are vital to any performance you’re in, any book you want to write, exhibition you want to create or participate in, conference you want to organize, or project you spearhead.

Relationships are so important because when it comes down to it, you can’t succeed alone. To be fair, maybe you can “get it done” by yourself. But it takes way too much energy and is not as much fun if you do it alone.

Additionally, the bigger you get, the bigger your vision, and the more expansive you become, you literally cannot do everything yourself. Just as a timely example, the President of the U.S. would not be able to run the country without help and support in various ways from others!

What often happens is that you set out to do it alone or you have others’ help, but something isn’t quite right. Maybe there’s imbalance or resentment, or something missing. That’s not a soul-centered, aligned relationship.

When your relationships are misaligned, you are going to have a lot of problems.

To understand what’s happening in your relationships, it’s wise to assess where you are (or not), and to get more clarity on how to really uplevel those relationships. This way, not only can you accomplish your goals, but you do it with a heart filled with love, energy and joy.

The first step is to define the different kinds of people with you in relationships, and to identify what about the relationship makes you feel off-kilter or uncomfortable. It’s that hard-to-pinpoint feeling of discomfort when you know something isn’t working. A mentor of mine calls it a “wiggly-niggly” feeling. You know it when you feel it!

  • Team members. These are employees or any other people helping you on an ongoing basis. The wiggly-niggly with these people might be that no matter how many times you give them instructions, they just don’t get it right.
  • Partners. These can be business partners, collaborative partners, and joint venture partners. Oftentimes the wiggly-niggly is unspoken resentment or that things are not quite in balance. One person is working hard and the other person is slacking off. Or one is really promoting the venture and the other isn’t.
  • Clients. Anyone who has come to see your performance, a reader of your book, a viewer of your artwork, or someone who hires your services. The wiggly-niggly there is if you get annoyed easily at one of your clients. Does this client show up late and expect you to go overtime? Do they not pay? Or do they get intimidated or anxious if you reach out to new prospects?
  • Contractors. Similar to a team member but not someone on an ongoing basis. Maybe this person is a logo designer, a caterer for an event, or the rep for a venue you’re renting. Those types of relationships can get wiggly when someone doesn’t follow through on a contract. Or they might be hard to contact once you paid them. Or you feel you overpaid and you resent it but you never say anything or try to negotiate.
  • Employers. This could also be a supervisor. Often there can be resentment or feelings of unfairness in these types of relationships.
  • Your mentors & teachers. The wiggly-niggly energy here can make you feel shy, scared, entitled, or not deserving.

  • Main emotional support relationship. This could be your spouse, sister, parent, best friend, etc. There are all kinds of possibilities for wiggly-niggly with these relationships!

Assessing: Evaluate the Relationships

Ask yourself the following questions. Let your inner Wise Woman answer. Don’t try to overthink anything. You already know the answers.

  • Of the different relationship types listed above, which are the ones where you have the strongest relationships? Where do you feel on target, you know it’s soul-centered and you’re really clean in your energy?
  • How are those so aligned? What makes them so good and aligned?
  • Which types of relationships give you trouble currently and consistently?
  • For each of these, how would you characterize the trouble, the misalignment, or the unclean energy?
  • What’s the result of this trouble? How does it impact your soul-centered project? Be as specific as you can get with current situations.
  • Which of those categories are vital to your soul-centered project? Which ones are game-changers for your project, such that you truly need for them to be aligned in order to move forward?

  • Why are those vital? What result will it yield if you are able to create or deepen a soul-centered relationship?

This is where I see leaders falter and self-sabotage repeatedly. It happens with team members, or a client relationship, or a partner. Maybe you end that relationship, but you don’t heal it. And you end up recreating it elsewhere with someone else experiencing that same dynamic.

Creating Your Ideal Relationships

Identifying and evaluating your relationships is the first step to healing them. The next step is to get clear on what your ideal relationships would look like. To do so, journal on the following questions:

  • What do you want this relationship to look like? How do you want it to change?
  • What is required of you on an outer level to make that change happen?

  • What would be required of you on an inner level?

Put Your Awareness into Motion for Soul-Centered Success

The Next Step is to take action. What are your next 3 baby steps to create Soul-Centered Relationships, and soul-centered success?