self-help

My Sacred Birthday Ritual

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Birthdays are an important moment – they can become a potent marker of time and of your personal evolution.

So, every year on my birthday I make time for this sacred and soulful ritual. It helps me make meaningful time and space on my special day just for ME. It connects me to my truest self and desires and helps me celebrate in deep ways. It also allows me to gracefully and joyfully let go of one year and powerfully move on to the next.

The ritual is simple, but really quite profound. Here is what I do: READ MORE

Time Investment Is the New Time Management (why being efficient is simply not enough)

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Guest Post by Elizabeth Grace Saunders

I’m thrilled to introduce Elizabeth Grace Saunders to the Soulful Coaching community! Her wise words remind me that time is so very precious, and of the importance of truly making the most of it. She is the founder and CEO of Real Life E®, a time coaching and training company that empowers individuals who are overwhelmed and frustrated to feel peaceful, confident and accomplished. She developed the awesome Schedule Makeover™ process that empowers individuals like you to move forward on their goals and companies to maximize the effectiveness of their knowledge workers, sales staff, remote employees and managers. Contact Elizabeth at esaunders@RealLifeE.com. or visit her at www.ReadLifeE.com.
 

Time Investment Is the New Time Management
 

I must start by saying: "It’s not your fault."

It’s not your fault that you can’t always keep up on everything at work.  It’s not your fault that your house seems less than immaculate.  It’s not your fault that you can’t make everyone happy in your life at every moment of every day.

You see, the lie that many people–especially women–live under is that if they can’t keep up on everything all the time that they have a huge problem with time management–and worse, that something is terribly flawed with themselves.  This sense of inadequacy then leads to a gnawing feeling of shame that typically manifests itself in two ways: On the one hand, it can lead to frenzied activity in a frantic attempt to keep up.  On the other, it can cause you to shut down and not do anything but what you need to get done.

Neither response allows the best in you to show up on a daily basis in your personal life and professional work.

As a time coach and trainer, I’ve seen this pattern over and over again, which has led me to offer an alternative to the traditional view of time management.  When we think of the old view of time management, the focus is efficiency and the questions sound like this:

  • How much did I get done today?
  • How fast did I get things done?
  • Did I waste any time?

Whereas when you start to follow a time investment philosophy, the questions become:

  • Did I invest in what was most meaningful to me?
  • Was I peaceful?
  • Did I minimize or eliminate time spent on unimportant activities?

The truth is no one can make everyone happy all the time.  No one can do everything they could possibly think of to do at any time.  But what you can do is to learn how to identify your top action-based priorities, set realistic expectations, and to strengthen simple routines so that you can reach your personal definition of success.

McGraw Hill just released my first book on the subject, The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment, which includes a comprehensive system for achieving more success with less stress. But to give you an initial sneak preview, here is an explanation of my INO Technique that can help you start shifting from time management to time investment.

The INO Technique

The point behind my INO Technique is to help you get clear on what time investment has the most value and to allocate your 24 hours in a day accordingly.  Here are the three categories that you can use to group your daily activities:

  • Investment activities: These activities can produce a higher rate of return when you invest more time in them.  When it comes to your most important personal priorities, such as spending time with the people who matter most to you, and professional priorities, such as business-development strategies, maximize the amount of time that you invest in these items.
  • Neutral activities: These to-do items produce a return in direct correlation with the amount of time that you put into them.  An example on the personal side could be exercising or on the work side could be basic project management or hourly contract work.  You don’t need to minimize the time you spend in these areas, but you also don’t need to maximize it.  Look to contain your time investment in these items so that you can move on to investment activities as soon as possible.
  • Optimize activities: These tasks produce no greater value when you invest more time in them, so the faster they get done, the better.  On the home front, this could mean maintenance work around your house, and on the work front, it could mean answering e-mails.  If you can have other people do these activities for you, delegate them.  If you need to do them yourself, challenge yourself to complete them in the shortest possible amount of time.

To help you understand the concept, here’s a personal example of how I used these categories this past holiday season:

Because my first book was coming out on January 11, I had less time over the holidays than usual.  In order to stay peaceful and make the most of the personal time I did have, I made these choices:

  • Investment activities: I decided that where I wanted to spend the most time was in being present to my friends and family. That meant attending events and meeting with friends was where I would invest the majority of my "disposable time."
  • Neutral activities: I enjoy sending Christmas cards to friends and clients, but I know that most of the value is in the thought that goes into mailing them a card. Because my time was limited, I decided to sign and send out the cards instead of taking time to write a paragraph on each one.
  • Optimize activities: Presents are definitely an important part of the season, but I knew most of the value was in someone receiving a gift they wanted, not in how long I spent shopping for it. With that in mind, I decided to order most of my gifts online instead of spending hours shopping at the mall.

Did you see how that worked?  Effective time investment didn’t mean I ran around trying to do everything perfectly.  Instead it looked like focusing on the value from the activity and then choosing my time investment accordingly.

I hope that this small example frees you to let go of time management in 2013 and focus on time investment! 

Five Simple Steps to New Year Transformations

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"This year I’m going to lose 15 pounds."

"This year I’m going to go to more networking events."

"This year I’m going to make more time for self-care."

"This year I’m going to finish my manuscript."

How many New Year’s resolutions have you made and broken – or worse yet – made and then promptly forgotten?

It can be very difficult to stick to these annual promises, but there is a fun, intuitive way to help you create meaningful resolutions and stick to them.  The key is to develop a personal theme for the year and then allow your actions (resolutions) to naturally flow from that theme or way of living and experiencing the world.

Your Yearly Theme will help guide your everyday decisions and actions, and will result in your feeling more fulfilled.  This theme will provide one simple instruction that will help you to stay aligned with your deepest desires.  

Once you uncover your theme, you commit to approaching each day and each thing you do with that theme in mind.  Examples of personal themes include love, acceptance, peace, self-respect, fun, connection, abundance, laughter, health, creativity, and many more.

One theme you might choose is "abundance."  Perhaps you recognize a deep need in your life that stems from always feeling a lack of something: a lack of money; lack of clients; lack of sleep; a lack of personal downtime; and a lack of feeling healthful.

While you could make each of those things a separate resolution, it might be more effective to do some deep work around feeling that you’re leading an abundant life – feeling that you have more than enough of what you need and want instead of feeling like you are lacking in so many ways.  If you could approach your life with the theme – or attitude – of abundance, you’d be able to create more money, more connection, more business, more time and more health.

Approach each day and each task with an attitude of abundance. Think abundant thoughts; create activities for yourself that helped you feel abundant, and pay particular attention during the moments when you feel you don’t have enough of something. Through that simple adjustment, you’ll create more abundance in your life, achieve your resolutions, and learn some life-changing lessons along the way.

Creating a theme for your year will help you recognize what you want your year to be and feel like, and then your goals and resolutions will come naturally from that place. At the end of the year, not only will you have been able to accomplish your goals;  you will also have incorporated and mastered the feeling of your theme in your life.

How to create your personal theme for the New Year:

1) What’s missing? Make a list of what wasn’t or didn’t happen last year: Anything from "romantic partnership" to "enough sleep" to "financial freedom" to "exciting hobbies."

2) What do you want? Make a list of all of the things you’d like to accomplish this year: These can be big and small things, resolutions as well as baby action steps.

3) How would it feel? Examine that list of what you want, and then ask yourself what you need to activate within yourself in order to accomplish those things. Perhaps you need patience, or courage, or a sense of humor, or positive thinking. Next, ask yourself how you want to feel as you accomplish these goals. Do you want to feel calm?  Balanced?  In love?  Committed?

4) Determine your theme: Narrow down your list from #3 to the one feeling, idea or state of being that resonates with you the most for the upcoming year.  This is your theme.

5) Try out your theme: Whatever theme you come up with, close your eyes and imagine yourself moving through this next year with that quality completely energized and activated. Can you see yourself? How does it feel? If it feels good, you have your theme for the New Year!

I would LOVE to hear from you – what is your personal theme for this year and why did you pick it?  Let me know!

Happy Holiday Season!

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I just love this time of year – family, friends, celebrations, gifts, great food….so much to love!

And, It’s so easy to get caught up in the hullabaloo of the celebrations that we sometimes forget what a sacred time of year it is to go inwards and reflect.

My family celebrates Chanuka, and it has been so wonderful this year for Penina to get really excited about lighting the candles and the magic of light in the middle of the darkest time of year.



Last Friday marked my last day in “the office” before taking time off for end of year rest and reflection (R & R). I must admit, I am very excited to have lots of space and time for luxurious down-time. Wherever you are and whatever you celebrate this time of year, I hope you take some time for yourself!

With love,
Joanna

Cleansing Ritual For New Beginnings

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As the year draws to a close, it’s a good time to reflect on all that’s transpired in the past 12 months, and celebrate your successes and forward movement.  It’s equally important to think about what you’d like to change going into the New Year. 

One of the most powerful keys to creating change is to be able to let go of what no longer serves you.

Perhaps there is an aspect of your business or a pattern of working that you are ready to let go of.  Maybe there is a particular client or team member you’re no longer aligned with. Sometimes, you can repair the relationship, but occasionally, you realize that it’s time to let go.  Or there might be a program you offer that doesn’t fit your mission anymore.  Whatever it is, making these necessary changes will help you to be more successful in the year to come,  and can be a lot easier if you have prepared yourself mentally and emotionally through ritual. 

As many of you know, I am a trained ritualist and have created countless rituals for women (& men too!) over the years.  In fact, in all of my coaching – even as I support women in improving their marketing and visibility – I incorporate ritual into the experience because I’ve come to learn how powerful & effective it is in creating change and transformation from the inside out.

For your New Year’s preparations, I invite you to perform this ritual for yourself and your business or soul-centered project.

Preparing for the Ritual

  • Start by writing down an assessment of your current state.  Be honest as well as kind to yourself.  What is the condition of your business or project as it stands today?

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  • Then write an intention, a prayer, a wish, a list of what you want to have happen in your ritual.  What is the goal of this ritual?  What do you want to surrender? Are you ready to let go of a client or team member?  Are you getting out of a pattern that is no longer serving you?  Figure out what is it that you need from this ritual.

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  • Then, collect any items associated with this person or the pattern that give you negative feelings.  These could be photos, printouts of emails, mementoes, etc. 

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  • Also collect items associated with this person that give you positive emotions.  If there are no "items" per se, such as a trip somewhere, then you can write these down on a piece of paper.  (See the power of the pen?)  

While you are performing the ritual, have the following on hand: a notebook or journal, a pen or pencil, a container for special things, a big black magic marker, and a small trash receptacle.

The Ritual

Begin by turning off your phone and computer.  No one needs to get in touch with you right now.  This is your time to get in touch with yourself!

  • Get it Together: Gather all your physical "props" for the ritual, and sit at a table, on the floor, or stand.  Go to the place in your home or office where you feel the most centered, relaxed, and comfortable (but not back to bed!).  Make sure there’s enough space to spread out all the pens, journals, etc.

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  • Say It: Read your self-assessment out loud.  It’s okay to ad-lib or edit while reading.  It’s your truth, and sometimes the truth is different from day to day.  This is just to help you get grounded in who and where you are right now.

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  • Speak Your Desires: Read aloud your intention for the ritual.  Again, ad-lib, or edit while reading.

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  • Eliminate the Negative: Next, you need to get rid of the obstacles preventing you from reaching your goal or intention.  Pick up the negative items, and before you do anything else, bless them. I know that may sound strange, but before you let something go, it’s so important to recognize why it’s been in your life, and what it’s taught you FIRST. It makes the letting go much easier.

Then, tear them up or cross them out, whatever you need to do to banish the negative energy.  Then tell each item to get out of your life, and throw it into the trash bin.  You do not need this negativity!  Once this is completed, take the trash bin and put it outside of your apartment, in the compactor, or whatever you use.  You can even say out loud, “Be gone!" Then go back inside.

  • The Power of the Physical: Pick up the items that have positive associations.  Hold each individually and say out loud why this item is meaningful.  Place them in the special box or bag, and put that away in a safe place.

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  • Write Out Loud: Finally, take up the notebook and the pen.  Speaking and writing at the same time, state three (or more) specific goals for yourself, such as: I want to get better at letting go of failures, or I want to become comfortable with networking, or I want to listen to my inner voice sooner rather than later, etc.  These can be the same as your intention, or maybe you thought of something new since you started this ritual.  Then write down and speak the reasons why you need these goals to be achieved: focusing on failure will ensure more failure; I cannot do it alone; my inner voice has a lot of wisdom.  

Take a deep breath.  Close your eyes and visualize yourself having completed these goals.  Picture yourself relishing this accomplishment.  Concentrate on breathing in all of the newness you’ve just created for yourself.

Now get up, put the goals where you will see them every day, and go!  Go outside into the world and look at your environment with new eyes.  Read your goals once a day, when you wake up or when you go to sleep, to help you stay on track.  This is your world to enjoy, so go do it!

Happy “Almost” American Thanksgiving!

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Pre-Thanksgiving Trip to the Mountains

Happy "Almost" American Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is very much on my mind this week  – it’s one of my very favorite holidays. I love love the Autumn season, and even more: I love love love the idea of dedicating an entire day to Gratitude and Giving Thanks.

The idea behind the holiday is like gold – the value of being in gratitude of taking in deeply and appreciating all we have, the fact that this simple practice could lead to huge success and joy.

Somehow, sadly, Thanksgiving has mostly turned into an opportunity to start shopping early for December holidays, to fret over time spent with extended family members, and to overeat.

But it doesn’t have to be like that. And that’s where the Gratitude Project comes in! Join me in making Thanksgiving more than just about getting a jumpstart on shopping. We are already hundreds strong in this movement – it’s happening TODAY, and there’s still time to join: http://soulfulcoach.com/gratitude2012.php

I got my gratitude celebrations started very early this year with a weekend trip to Blowing Rock, NC. The Blue Ridge Mountains are absolutely beautiful!!!! Jon, Penina and I did a lot of hiking, connecting with Mama Earth, and reveling in the turn of the season.

I’m very excited about this week’s article, because it’s on a topic that I get asked about a LOT: How to Raise Your Rates. Taught to you in signature Soulful Coaching style – enjoy!!!

With love,
Joanna

Finding Gratitude In These Crazy Times

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Wow, what a crazy and quite frankly – chaotic -two weeks it’s been. I know that so many of you are still being affected by the aftermath of Sandy. My thoughts and well wishes are with you, and I hope you recover as soon as possible.

While I wasn’t directly hit by the storm, I did have some chaos of my own:

My brand new car was hit and run in the middle of the night. Friday was all about police reports, insurance claims, tow trucks, car rental. I have to admit, it was really stressful.

But here’s the thing: throughout the entire experience, what I keep on reminding myself is – thank goodness I’m ok and my family is ok, that we weren’t in the car when it happened, that everyone is safe.



Cultivating Gratitude around this situation has literally saved me from going down the rabbit hole of anxiety, negativity and fear around what will happen next with the car. Cultivating gratitude has actually helped me appreciate my life and health in a way I wouldn’t have if this terrible thing hadn’t happened!

With that, I lovingly and enthusiastically invite you to the second annual Gratitude Project.

Just imagine what might be different for you if Gratitude were the go-to emotion for you when things go wrong (or right, for that matter!).

with love,
Joanna

Be Happy Every Day (No Matter What)!

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Have you ever had a case of “the Mondays”? You know those days – we’ve all had ‘em – you wake up knowing your workday is going to be tough or dreary and you just want to go back to sleep already! Perhaps it’s an intense meeting with a prickly boss or a 5-hour session on learning the new computer system or back-to-back meetings all day. Sometimes the issue is as simple as insufficient sleep and you just know it’ll be a long slog all day.

Whatever the reason, those days can be difficult and arduous. But the good news is, they don’t necessarily have to be. Attitude counts a lot on these days, and sometimes a quick and easy attitude adjustment can turn a dismal day into a bearable – maybe even an enjoyable – one.

And of course: you want to have as many enjoyable days and as many enjoyable moments as possible. Not only does that help you love your life, but it also keeps you happier, and inspires you to more forward movement in your business. Sounds obvious, I know, but so many of us forget that simple truth a little too often.

Take Action – Get Excited … on purpose!

Here’s one super-simple – and a personal favorite – tactic for managing my energy on workdays. I recommend doing this EVERY workday. By the end of the first week, you’ll notice some pretty amazing changes!

When I wake up that morning, before even leaving bed, I walk through the day in my mind and find at least three things, events, or moments to look forwardto that day. I take 5-10 seconds with each thing and savor it in my mind. This can be anything! Some ideas are:

  • a quick chat with a co-worker who makes you smile
  • a big deal that you’re about to close on
  • a delicious lunch
  • a client session that you are really passionate about

After that, I pick some things in my personal life that day that I’m looking forward to, and savor those things:

  • dinner with my husband & daughter
  • a conversation with a good friend
  • taking my favorite yoga class

Focusing on and feeling happy anticipation about the positive moments in your day can help lessen the weight you feel around the unpleasant moments.

What are you looking forward to today?

Turn Your Attitude to Gratitude!

Another strategy for bringing back joy to your workday is to take a moment to remember the parts of your job that you love and give thanks for them. Sure, you might hate doing paperwork, but don’t forget that you enjoy teaching class, or writing, or getting to know your clients. Or maybe you feel very stressed about meeting with prospects and trying to connect with them. But try to bear in mind that you love creating programs or classes, or that it feels terrific to close a session with a client and reflect with them on how they’ve grown or benefited.

What are you grateful for today?

Instead of focusing on the parts of your day that you’re not looking forward to, make an effort to identify and get excited about the parts of your day – no matter how small – that will make you feel alive or make your heart sing. The more you focus on the positive, the more you will notice it and enjoy it in your life … and the more your soul-centered project will soar!!!!

We are ALL Wise Women!

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Can you believe it’s already September? I can’t. The summer has flown by!

I am officially back in the office after a month off, and I am feeling relaxed, rejuvenated and very excited to jump back into my work.

Things are pretty busy here at Soulful Coaching. The Soul-Centered Leadership program has sold out AGAIN, and the Wise Woman Leadership Program is nearly 70% full. September and October are such exciting months because Soul-Centered Leadership begins this month, and Wise Woman begins next month, which means that I get to welcome back incredible women who are continuing their journey with me and also welcome in new women who are just beginning. I love, love, love it!!!!!

Why?

Because the women who say YES to Soulful Coaching Programs are truly some of the most incredible, intelligent and inspiring women you will ever meet. I am fully in awe of them,

Photo Credit: walkswithin.com

and I feel it is an honor and a privilege to be serving and supporting such amazing leaders and entrepreneurs, and holding their hands as they step into bigger versions of themselves and pursue their dreams. It brings me to my knees, and I thank the Universe for this privilege every day.

If you know that you are a Soulful Coaching leader or entrepreneur, and you are ready to step into a Soulful Coaching experience, I highly highly recommend you check out the Wise Woman Leadership Program. It could be one of the most important decisions you ever make for yourself. I’m serious.

And, I hope you enjoy this week’s article – it’s all about protecting and honoring your time and your energy: HUGELY important to creating your Soul-Centered Project and your happiness.






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How to Honor & Protect Your Time and Energy, Part 1

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I’ve always been what I call an “over-responsibility” person. I used to feel that I had to make other people happy, had to meet their needs, no matter what. Regardless of what it might cost me.

When I first started my coaching practice, I did anything for any client – I charged ridiculously low rates, and I would meet them anytime, anywhere. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but in the beginning, I charged just $15 for a 45-minute session. I agreed to sessions at 6:30 AM. I did 11:00 PM sessions. I traveled to clients an hour each way, and still only charged $15 for the session – no charge for my travel time. As you can guess, that did not work! Not only was I under-earning, but I also had no time for marketing to grow my business, or for taking care of myself. I was stressed, exhausted, and often annoyed at my clients. But it wasn’t their fault I felt this way. The fault was mine – because I wasn’t setting any boundaries.

I’m sure many of you can see yourselves in my story. So, so, so many entrepreneurs, artists, and leaders have trouble with boundaries around time. Typical problems include:

  • Not enough time to work because you have guilt around childcare
  • Giving away too much time by constantly emailing clients
  • Excusing a client who cancels frequently (wasting your time)
  • Doing the work of others who are doing things incorrectly or not on time
  • Working overtime consistently because you fear telling your boss that the workload is too heavy

Once you realize that you’re dishonoring your time and dishonoring yourself, it’s time to sit down and get really clear on what you need. I have formulated a series of exercises that will enable you to establish a schedule that allows you time and freedom to accomplish your business and personal goals, and a series of healthy boundaries to serve as a framework for your success. With these boundaries, you can stop feeling overwhelmed, taken advantage of, or scared. You can stop worrying that you’re over-worked and start stepping into time and energy well-spent.

How you spend your time is how you live your life.

In this first section of How to Honor & Protect Your Time, let’s look at scheduling and prioritizing, because setting boundaries for yourself begins with time management.

First, get clear on the top two or three things you don’t have enough time for because of unhealthy boundaries. Is it marketing? Is it self-care? Is it time to write?

What are you losing out on because you’re not honoring your time?

Create Your Ideal Schedule

Creating an ideal schedule is KEY to setting time boundaries for yourself. The more clear you are on your schedule, on what you’d like to be doing at what moments, the easier it will be to honor your time, your energy, and what’s important to you.

 

 

 

To create your ideal schedule:

1) Draw a grid with a column for each day of the week, and a row for each hour of the day.

2) Assign work time and personal time.

3)Get more specific: Identify what you need to do and when you need to do it. Start with Monday – Friday, or Tuesday – Saturday, or whatever works for you. Include each thing you would be doing each day throughout the week, and at what time. Block out time with clients, marketing time, travel time, shopping for supplies time, yoga time, family time. Include team meetings, networking events, even dentist appointments. When you can see that on your schedule, you’ve begun to create boundaries for yourself. The more you get clear on your schedule, the less scattered you are, and the more you are able to open time for yourself.

Determine Necessary Tasks

The next tool you need is to be able to get clear on what tasks you do that are worth your while. This is so important to being able to honor your time because it allows you to really prioritize what is most important and stick to it.

For this, make a running list of every single thing you do for one week – start today. Once you’ve followed yourself and your activities for a week, the next step is to categorize your activities this way:

  • Category 1 – essential tasks you currently don’t lose time on because the boundaries are good
  • Category 2 – essential tasks you want to keep but could use a better system or could streamline
  • Category 3 – non-essential tasks to either eliminate or to save for another time
  • Category 4 – tasks to delegate, which are essential but which you can give to someone else

Be honest with yourself. You’ll see some important things as you mark your tasks in this way. You might see that you need an intern or a team member. Or maybe there are things you’re spending time on that aren’t benefiting you. When you compare your actual schedule with your ideal schedule, you can apply the task categories to bring the actual schedule closer to your ideal.

Look for How to Honor & Protect Your Time, Part 2 next week, in which we’ll examine specific tactics and conversations to have for boundary-setting around time!