Success
I was scared to post this….
In lieu of a full blog post, I wanted to share with you a recent post I wrote on Facebook.
I was scared to hit post on it because I know it’s a little controversial….
and I wasn’t sure if it would trigger some people…
but I ultimately decided to post it because I feel so strongly about it.
It’s about coaching & coaching skills & ethics & so much more.
You’ll see it got some attention and a lot of folks commented very passionately on it.
Here it is: https://www.facebook.com/joanna.lindenbaum/posts/10155812738623437
Would love to hear your thoughts!
The Danger of Some Coaches…
Here’s a coaching, facilitation, teaching (and marketing) tool that I live by:
It is vitally important to reveal yourself, your imperfections, your not-so-great outcomes, and your not-so-happy qualities to your clients, students and community.
The transformational industry is FULL of gurus who seem picture perfect. They have “perfect” businesses; they apparently learn their lessons very quickly; they apparently don’t make mistakes; they apparently don’t really have sh*t happen to them
This is damaging to their communities – and specifically to their clients.
Because as a coach or practitioner, if you don’t consciously reveal your imperfections to your clients….they can make the mistake of believing that things happen perfectly for you.
And that essentially means that you become, in my opinion, a very, very dangerous role model.
Because no one is perfect, no one’s business is perfect, no one’s health is perfect, etc.
But your clients believe that if you – their coach or leader – don’t have frustrations, don’t have obstacles, don’t have hardships, that they should be able to attain it too.
And that’s a setup for failure, for frustration, and for unhappiness.
When I am with my clients and students, I never hesitate to share about my not-so-great moments, my not-so-great launches, my not-so-pretty feelings (yes, I get jealous and negative sometimes!), and my sweaty armpits (always happens when I facilitate!).
Of course, I share only when appropriate and only as much as is necessary to make the point: that I am human, just like my client is human, and we are bound to have imperfect lives and businesses. And this is as it should be.
When we are coaching or facilitating, we need to remember that when we show that we struggle with some things, that things don’t always go according to our plans….we are giving permission to our clients to not be so hard on themselves, to not be so self-judgmental, and to not think something is very wrong with them because they haven’t achieved enough.
This is the ONLY way real growth can happen. And this is the ONLY way real movement towards goals can happen.
And quite honestly, this is the only way real self-love can deepen (& I believe that at the core of ANY coach’s or practioner’s job, this is one of the most sacred).
When I train practitioners in Sacred Depths Coach Training, we spend a full module just on how to support clients through the Myth of Perfection. In addition to the inner work tools I share with my coaches on this, I also always share this important principle:
Remember that when you are someone’s coach, teacher or facilitator…you also bear the responsibility of being their role model. And being a role model doesn’t mean showing up as an image of perfection.
Leading your clients when your personal life takes over
A few years ago, while I was leading a group call with nearly 30 women, my parents telephoned me on both my home phone and my cell phone 4 times within about 2 minutes.
I could feel my heart start beating faster as I was coaching. My mother has had MS for 30 years, and there have been many emergencies, hospital visits, and even life-support situations over the years.
A version of me 3 years ago would have tried to ignore her calls until I was done teaching — yet be scared & un-present to my teaching the entire time — because I wouldn’t want to come off as unprofessional.
An even older version of myself would have freaked out completely, told the folks on the call that I needed to reschedule, and then go on to deal with whatever was happening.
Last week, instead, at an appropriate pause in between spotlight coaching moments, I let the women on the call know that my parents had called 4 times and that I was concerned enough to feel I should call back, but that it would only take a moment. I asked everyone on the call to hold for just a minute and quickly called my mom. There was a slight emergency situation, but nothing very serious. I was able to get off the phone in under 90 seconds, return to my clients with full presence, and then take care of the situation at an appropriate time.
The Struggle About What To Charge
In this moment, I can’t actually think of any client I’ve ever worked with that hasn’t at some point wondered or (most likely) agonized over what to charge. And I confess, I certainly have grappled with this many times in the past as well.
The question about where to set your rates brings up a whole slew of internal questions and judgments:
How valuable is my work?
What will people think when they hear my rates?
What are other people in my industry charging?
Will anyone buy from me at all?
Am I undercharging?
Am I overcharging?
Leading your clients when your personal life takes over
Last week, while I was leading a group call with nearly 30 women, my parents telephoned me on both my home phone and my cellphone 4 times within about 2 minutes.
I could feel my heart start beating faster as I was coaching. My mother has had MS for 30 years, and there have been many emergencies, hospital visits, and even life-support situations over the years.
A version of me 3 years ago would have tried to ignore her calls until I was done teaching — yet be scared & un-present to my teaching the entire time — because I wouldn’t want to come off as unprofessional.
An even older version of myself would have freaked out completely, told the folks on the call that I needed to reschedule, and then go on to deal with whatever was happening.
Last week, instead, at an appropriate pause in between spotlight coaching moments, I let the women on the call know that my parents had called 4 times and that I was concerned enough to feel I should call back, but that it would only take a moment. I asked everyone on the call to hold for just a minute and quickly called my mom. There was a slight emergency situation, but nothing very serious. I was able to get off the phone in under 90 seconds, return to my clients with full presence, and then take care of the situation at an appropriate time.
Why I work on some evenings these days…
Last week was Autumn Equinox which — among other things — is all about the energy of Balance.
During the time of the Equinox, the daytime hours are exactly as long as the night-time hours. The Earth is in a beautiful moment of balance between light and dark, Winter and Summer, inner and outer energy.
So this is a wonderful moment to reflect upon how you are creating balance in your life and in your business.
Balance is one of the most important elements of any successful and happy business. And when things aren’t in balance, you feel off, resentful and most likely are not creating what you want. For example:
–Working so much that you don’t have enough time for rest, self-care, family or the other priorities in your life
READ MORE
Some vulnerability about my business…
I recently posted this on Facebook, and it received such an overwhelming response that it felt important to share with you as well. It’s a short article, but a VERY important one!
The last 15 months with a baby and a 1st grader and a business and a sick mom who lives far away and…well, just life and all that comes with it…has been really hard at times.
In terms of business, there has been massive, massive growth on some levels, and on other levels I’m moving way slower than ever before. I thought my re-brand would be done and ready to go by last January. Ha! I’m hoping now for end of September. I thought my Sacred Archetype Assessment would have been ready by last December. I released it in July. I had plans for writing my book and creating some really, really huge marketing moments this last Spring. That hasn’t fully happened yet.
I’m sharing this for a couple of reasons:
1) I could have easily beaten myself up through all of this, judged myself for being lazy or too slow, compared myself to others, etc. But instead I chose to honor my pace, to honor that my business is NOT my first priority in life, to honor that I choose to make time for my children FIRST, and for my business to fit in with my life and not the other way around.
One Of My Favorite “Growth” Tools
I’ve kept a journal since I’ve been 6 years old.
My first journal had a cover with a red and white floral design, and it had a lock and key. The pages were lined, and I wrote (with lots of miss-spellings and really bad grammar) about my first day of school, the girls I was friends with, the bully in the class, my parents’ refusal to give me an allowance, my beloved grandfather who passed away that year and how I felt about all these things.
I remember so clearly the absolute delight I took in sharing my secrets and myself in those pages. The book – which was small in size – felt to me like a sacred and magical tool. My 6-year-old self believed it had the power to make my life better.
I still have that journal, and the 45+ others that I’ve filled since then.
The writing in those journals has evolved from small words written in print letters to more sophisticated thoughts written in cursive or sometimes drawn with pastels.
The stories told in those journals have seen me get my period for the first time, fall in love with (& get heartbroken by) my first crush, realize my parents weren’t perfect, get rejected from my college of choice, graduate college and grad school, deal with my mother’s illness, travel across the world, get and recover from Bell’s palsy, quit my job to start my own business, get married, birth two children, and everything in between.
And my 38-year-old-self can say without a doubt that journaling does have the power to make your life better, richer, and happier.
Throughout the years, my journal has helped me:
- connect deeply to myself and my desires
- tap into my inner wisdom and uncover my intuition
- create clarity out of confusion
- express my anger in safe and really productive ways
- release pain and frustration and disappointment
- connect to Spirit
- make better decisions
- cultivate hope
- cultivate self-love and confidence
- and so much more
Over the last decade, I have also used my journal to support me in every single aspect of my business, from my confidence level & ability to value myself, to my marketing and operations plans.
Journaling has helped me grow into a successful, soul-centered entrepreneur who (for the most part) knows herself and her desires really well, has the insight and clarity to make good decisions about offerings, marketing, rates, team and systems, and has the courage to take risks and make out-the-box moves.
Here are some of my "best practices" for successful journaling:
- Be consistent: There are periods of time when I journal every day, and then periods of time where I journal only every other week. Of course, when I am more consistent, I receive so much more from my journaling practice – each journal entry builds on the next and deep, deep insights are revealed over time. But even when I just check in for a few minutes, writing just for me has the power to transform my mood, provide me with hope and trust, and give me insight on next steps.
- Write fast: I have found that the faster I write when I journal, the easier it is to get past all of my mental gobbelty-gook and obstacles and go to a much deeper place inside of myself that holds the real wisdom. There’s something about writing as fast as you can that eliminates your filter and gets you to your truth.
- Write for yourself: In order to really allow your truth and wisdom to flow, it’s vital that you journal for yourself only, and not with the thought that someone else may read your writing. When you write with the knowledge that it’s just for you, you have permission to express any emotion that wants to be expressed, any idea no matter how silly it seems, and any big goal without being judged.
- Mix it Up: I personally get a little bored with writing from the same voice in every journal entry. I get stale that way. What has really helped me continually find deeper and deeper places inside myself is to mix it up – write from different points of view, sometimes draw, sometimes write in silence and other times with music playing, write letters, make charts, make lists, etc.
Not only have I used my journal for over three decades for my own self-growth and learning, but I regularly give my clients and students journaling assignments to support them and their businesses. It has been utterly amazing to watch my clients grow on the inner and outer levels through their self-discovery and through their journaling.
And this is what I want for you, too.
That is why I am thrilled beyond thrilled to share with you the Deep Insights Business Journaling Intensive:
Next week (starting Monday, July 7th), I will send you a journaling assignment each morning. For five days in a row, you’ll receive a specially-designed journaling assignment from me to help you gain clarity, wisdom and confidence about your business. Each assignment can take as long as a half-hour, but in order for it to be effective, you don’t need to write for more than 5 minutes. You are going to get so much from your writing, and then even more by participating in our Facebook group where I’ll be doing additional teaching and coaching each day.
You don’t need to register for the Journaling Intensive – as a member of the Soulful Coaching community, you’ll get it in your inbox automatically each day-my gift to you.
What you should do right away is join our Journaling Intensive Facebook group so that you can introduce yourself to the other women in the community and get ready to share your insights from the journaling assignments. I’ll be on the Facebook group a LOT next week to share my own insights with you and coach you! Here’s the link to join:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/801350099917050/
Can’t wait!
Your Time = Your Business
Running a business is full of responsibilities and obligations, and it can be easy to lose control of how you spend your time. But how you spend your time determines the success of your business.
If you feel like you aren’t doing what you want to be doing in your business or soul-centered project, chances are good that your priorities do not match how you spend your actual time.
And, if you’re not spending your business time according to your priorities, chances are good that you’ll feel stressed, dissatisfied, tired or disappointed with your work life.
For example, if you highly value developing your network of colleagues, but instead focus a lot of energy and time on operational details, then you are likely feeling harried and disconnected from like-minded practitioners. Or, if your biggest desire is to grow your business, but your time is actually spent running errands and doing paperwork, unfortunately, your life won’t magically open up more time for marketing your business.
You need to prioritize what’s most important & then set the intention to make it happen.
Align your business with your priorities and your values:
1) Clarify What’s Important
Make a list of everything in your business or project that is important to you. This can include expanding your prospect list, developing new programs or offerings, marketing, cultivating referrals, etc. Get specific with this list. For example, instead of simply listing "networking”, perhaps list particular individuals or groups of colleagues who are important to your business.
2) Rank What’s Important
Order your list in number of importance to you. This is now your priority list.
3) Identify Your Top Three
Now, take a look at the top three items on your list. Star them. Ask yourself: Are these really my top priorities in life, or are some of these items "shoulds" or "obligations"? If there are any shoulds or obligations, re-prioritize so that your top three really connect with you on a heart/soul level. Some questions to ask yourself are:
- Am I excited about this item?
- How do I feel when I devote time to this item?
- Is there anything I would rather do than this item?
4) How Do You Really Spend Your Time?
Is the majority of your actual time devoted to the top three things on your list? If yes, wonderful! If not – what are you spending your time doing instead? If that’s not a top priority item: why are you spending your time on it? Do you actually need to be spending time on it, or is it simply a distraction? Can it be delegated?
This 4-step process will help you get clarity on how you want to spend your time versus how you actually do spend your time. It will also help you uncover what’s important and why you spend time on things that are not priorities.
Once you do that, then you can move on to the next level, which is to create a detailed plan of how those priorities will play out week by week in your schedule.
