Leveraging the Shadow for Greater Client Transformation

One thing I go deep into when I support clients to become Master Facilitators or Master Coaches is to understand the Shadow, all its layers, and how to effectively use it in your facilitation and 1:1 work to help your clients move past limiting patterns and obstacles.

When I train my Master Facilitators on all this in person, a core tenet is that you can’t support your clients with their Shadows if you’re not willing to fully look at your own. And so we go very deep into magically and sacredly helping you journey to the depths of your soul to come face to face and then become friends with your Shadow.
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7 keys to being a transformational leader in this moment (& always)

What a strange moment we are living in. The pandemic is really asking us to show up in better ways. For ourselves. For our clients & communities. For our businesses. For the world. The world needs us right now more than ever.

Here are 7 leadership principles to help you show up & make even more positive impact for your clients, your communities, and the world.

1. Be honest with yourself & your community

One of the most powerful traits of an effective leader is having the courage to be honest with both yourself & your community. This means that if you are concerned about the state of the world, don’t hide it because you think it will make you look weak. This means that if you feel anxious, don’t hide it because you think it will make you look less “spiritual” or evolved. What your clients need right now (& always) is an honest, vulnerable leader who can show them – by example – how to handle emotions, concerns, and difficulties as they come up.

2. Don’t bypass your fears, or your clients

If you didn’t catch the FB post I wrote about this, please have a read here. There are too many gurus out there right now who are simply promoting “love & light”. Now, there’s nothing at all wrong with love & light, but it can often end up alienating and spiritually bypassing your clients and community if not done with care.

3. Do your own inner work

The only, only way to get through these challenging times (& any moment in time!) and to be able to deeply and with integrity support your clients through their own anxieties, fears and dark nights of the soul is to start with being committed to your own inner work. Commit to working with your own fears. Commit to facing your own Shadows. To Re-Wiring your own Thinking Patterns. To supporting your own Inner Child. Stressful moments are when we tend to put our personal work last, but don’t let that happen. Commit to your own evolution even more fiercely right now. We have a magical opportunity to go even deeper.

4. Be flexible with your plans & embrace the mystery

It’s just a fact that for the next few weeks – and probably months – our lives are not going to look as we had planned. More and more travel is being restricted. People are being asked to stay at home. And people are spending more & more time focused on the news. But here’s the thing: We’re actually always in the mystery. It’s just magnified right now, but the truth is that even when it’s business as usual, we never know what tomorrow brings.

That’s why a vital key to leadership is flexibility; being willing and able to change your plans, sometimes very, very quickly.

I’ll share with you that me and my team have been 100% in flexibility and quick-decision-making mode over the last week. We’ve decided to postpone a retreat that was going to happen in late April, and also, we are completely shifting our marketing plans for the Spring to be more in line with where everyone in our community is at right now. The truth is that it has felt tricky. It’s not always fun changing plans at the last moment and being in the unknown. But it’s an essential trait for a leader. The more flexible you can be, the more resilient you become.

5. Know the subtle difference between opportunism & being of support

Your community are smarty pants and can smell BS from a mile away, and they will absolutely know the difference between you running a big sale because you have a tool that will help them right now through this crisis and you deeply want to be of service versus you running a sale because you are capitalizing on this chaotic moment.

So of course, of course sell things right now. I am going to for sure. But remember: this is truly (now & always) all about intention and what’s coming from your heart. It’s AMAZING if you have a tool or skill or knowledge that offer a solution to what your community is experiencing right now, and it’s AMAZING if you want to make it more available to people during this time. Offer it from your heart, not from a sly place of making money off the moment.

6. Remember that your community is watching

In my book, perhaps the most essential quality of an effective, transformational leader is the ability….to lead by example. To be a model for how to show up and who to be in the world. At this moment in history, we need leaders who are in integrity, who are authentic, who show kindness, who model grace & generosity. Show your community on social media that you are helping those in your town who are in need, or show your community that even though you are not as risk you are hunkering down at home to protect others, or share with your community how you are communicating with your kids about the pandemic, or speak truth to power where you see it needs to be spoken,etc.

Lead by being an amazing example of a human being in this moment in time.

7. Know that sometimes rules are made to be broken

It’s important to have rules, protocols, systems in your business. Protocols for scheduling and rescheduling. Rules for when you’re available to your clients and when you’re not. Systems for how and when your team members complete their assigned work. And…sometimes rules are made to be broken. In a moment like a pandemic, reconsider your re-scheduling policies. Have more largesse when it comes to your team. Perhaps make yourself a little more available to your community. Honor yourself in knowing which rules are important for you personally to uphold, and reconsider the ones that you know you can handle shifting for a little bit.

There are some rules that really were made to be broken in extreme circumstances. Breaking them (when appropriate) shows your clients and your community that you are putting everyone’s best interest in mind above the rules.

 

Wishing you so much love. Hope you are staying safe and taking care of yourself, your loved ones, and your community.

To be clear…

Last week I posted an article “Being a True Transformational Leader means doing your own Anti-Racism work” you can read it HERE.

I want to share the message again, and take it a step further in the hopes that it will be helpful:

If you are white, and want to be in-integrity calling yourself a transformational leader, coach, teacher or guide, it is important to:

1. Look at the biases & racist ideas that live deep inside of you. 

Even if you believe all people are & should be equal, you have been brought up within our culture’s systemic racism, and therefore you carry some unconscious racist ideas inside of you. 

Yes, this is painful & possibly shameful to acknowledge. 

The first time I really acknowledged the systemic racism inside of me was in 2016, and because I think of myself as “a good person”, it was absolutely excruciatingly painful. 

But it must be done. 

If you avoid your shame & don’t look at your biases head-on, you will continue to sleepwalk without seeing them….and inadvertently cause harm to black people and people of color.

2. Continue to acknowledge the impact of your privilege & root out the internalized racism inside of you. It’s not a once and done.

Looking at your deeper biases and how you take your privileges is not something that can be done only once. If done only once, the learning and the corrections don’t stick. True learning and transformation happen when you commit consistently and persistently. The moment you think you’re done is the moment you become complacent. I know that my own anti-racism journey will never be done.

As Andrea Ranae (@andrearanaej) says: “Anti-racism is not an identity or a checklist; it’s a practice.” READ MORE

Being a True Transformational Leader means doing your own Anti-Racism work

I have been outraged, horrified, and heartbroken yet again by the news this week that another unarmed black man was murdered by a police officer. George Floyd was brutally & needlessly killed because of racism. 

When there is a dynamic as horror-filled as racism that is pervasive in a society, like it is in ours, you can be sure that the racism isn’t simply out there and perpetrated by “other” white people. 

If you are white, like me, you don’t just spot it, you got it too. 

I know this is a strong statement, and may even be triggering, but please, keep reading. I’ll explain.

Racism is pervasive in society because it’s a collective Shadow, not just a Shadow for some people. And we must do the really hard & honest work to confront it & root it out inside ourselves. 

If you’re white and consider yourself, or desire to be, a leader or a guide for others, it is vital that you look at your own biases & your own conscious and unconscious implanted beliefs around people of color.  READ MORE

“Am I Good Enough?”: The Well That Can Never be Filled…

If you are soulful, smart, deep-thinking and deep-feeling, you’ve probably at one time or another felt that your work isn’t good enough, and that you’re not a good enough practitioner (or good enough to become a practitioner).

I’ll share with you that I am no stranger to this feeling.
Not by a long shot.
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4 Sales Conversation “no-no”s

no-no-no-310x296Over the last few weeks, I’ve been sharing with you a lot of tools about successful enrollment conversation – because you can have the BEST marketing or referrals EVER, but if you don’t know how to have powerful sales conversations, none of that matters.

You need to master sales calls in order to make those sales.

Through the years, I’ve seen a lot of sales “mistakes” made by amazing entrepreneurs (myself included!) – mistakes that can cost you conversions, cost you potential income, and keep you from making the impact you’re meant to make.

Here are a few of the most common “no-no”s I see: READ MORE