Does this happen to you too?
Every day’s headlines make me tear up. And some days it’s more than just tearing up; it’s a full out big cry that, if I actually wore mascara, would make it stream down my face.
The fires. The hurricanes. The pandemic. The needless and unjust killings. And beyond.
It’s a lot. (This is an understatement). READ MORE
Autumn is the perfect time to clean out and let go of what no longer serves you in your life. And letting go through ritual can be very powerful!
Look around and notice that the days are getting shorter and the leaves are falling from the trees. Soon, there will be less bounty and abundance being offered from the flowers and plants. Nature is letting go of excess and stripping down to the essentials – to what is really necessary to get through the long, dark winter. These cues from nature are beautiful invitations to help you in identifying, releasing, and letting go of the excess. Nature is signaling that it’s time to let go of the things that are perhaps weighing you down in your life.
It’s important to “clean house” on an inner level every now and again, and take stock of what you’re holding onto.
So often, you hold on to old fears, resentments, habits, patterns, limiting beliefs, and ways of being because they FEEL comfortable, but that’s only because you’ve been holding on to them for so long. However, when you take a closer look, you can begin to see that these things no longer serve you, and in fact are standing in the way of your moving forward.
The tree metaphor applies here: imagine what might happen if trees never shed their leaves? Yes, they might not ever look bare, and there is comfort in always looking full and abundant. However, if the trees never shed their leaves, they would never have a chance to grow new leaves – new ideas, new projects, new beliefs, new opportunities. See where I’m going with this?
I’ve created a simple and special autumn ritual to be able to identify and let go of the things in your life that are ready to be released for you:
Autumn Ritual for Release
First, reserve some special time for yourself. Go to an outdoor place that feels sacred to you: a park, a stream, a path in the woods. Any place that feels safe and supportive for you. Bring paper and a pen.
In sacred outdoor space, sit down in a comfortable place. Connect with nature. Feel your seat on the ground, and take a couple of nice, deep breaths in – taking in the autumn air and feeling the energy of releasing and letting go.
Next, use your paper and pen and answer the following questions. Take some time to really feel into these questions:
Review your answers, and create a list of 3 things that you know you are really ready to let go of. This list should be things that you know in your heart are no longer serving you, even though they might feel comfortable for you.
Next, find 3 rocks or pebbles. Each of these rocks will represent one thing that you are ready to release, surrender, and let go of. Be clear for yourself what each rock represents. Take a moment as you pick up each rock or pebble from the ground, close your eyes, feel the rock in your hand and say to yourself, “this rock represents my fear of success,” or “this rock represents my addiction to sugar” or “this rock represents my relationship with my boyfriend.” Allow each rock to truly take on the energy of each thing you want to release.
Then, go on a mindful walk with your three rocks. On this walk, observe all the ways that each of your “rocks” have hindered your happiness and success. Then, as you are ready, let each rock go, one by one. Drop them to the ground, really feeling that you are symbolically letting go of each. If you are near water, you can throw each rock into the water, listening to the splash each rock makes as it hits the surface and sinks down. Then take a moment to notice how it feels in your body to commit to releasing each of these things.
Finally, write down a next action step for each of your items. For example, if one of your items is your addiction to sugar, a next action step might be to cut sugar out after 7pm. Bring your action sheet home, and keep it somewhere convenient, where you’ll be reminded of these steps often.
Action follows intention. This autumn ritual is a great way to partner your inner and outer energy to create positive change in your life!
I’m still settling into my new home in NC, but wanted to give you a heads up on a gift in honor of my birthday, which is TODAY. (Any other Virgos in the house?)
I love my birthday, and love to give to others on it, so I always gift the Soulful Coaching community with a special something this time of year.
This gift is designed to move you OUT of:
And move you into:
Here’s what one graduate of the program said:
“If you have your burning dream and are just starting out with it, not quite sure where to begin, how to focus or how to get your message out there, this program is the vital first step in helping you to clarify and put steps into place to make this happen. You WILL move forward on this program, there is no way not to. We cover so much ground corresponding to the main areas that need to be put in place to create a successful business.
Taking the time to look back over what I have accomplished as a result of the program reveals layer upon layer which doesn’t cease to amaze me! On an inner level my confidence in myself, my knowledge, education and what I want to share with the world has hugely increased. On an outer level I have put in place a solid foundation on which to build and market my programs and business.” –Caroline Cain, CarolineCain.dk
If you’re ready, NOW is the time. We’re over 50% full, and this special discount will last only until Friday at midnight.
If the program is right for you, but you want to talk about it to make sure, go ahead and reserve your spot at the discounted rate, and then let us know you’d like to talk. If after we speak, you feel the program isn’t for you, we’ll refund you in full right away.
Again, the link to register is: http://www.soulfulcoach.com/wwlp-birthday.php
With love,
Joanna
p.s. – My team manager, Sophie, shares the same birthday with me! So it’s a double birthday special!
We all experience fear differently. It rears its ugly head in many creative ways. When you are trying to bring your Soul-Centered Project into the world, that fear is often about visibility. You’re afraid of being seen because someone might think you’re a fraud. Or that you’re too old. Or too young and inexperienced. Or the fear is that you’ll be rejected. It’s easy to let that fear take over and hide away!
Yet, one thing is true about fear across the board: If you fail to address the fear when it comes up, your chances of achieving those juicy goals that you set out for yourself decrease drastically.
So how do I take on my fears?
I’m going to share with you three of my top ways to deal with fear, and avoid its paralyzing effects:
1) Identify How Your Fear Expresses Itself in Your Life
Fear takes you hostage because you often do not recognize that you are afraid! These “fear-based expressions” are much trickier than you first realize, yet so important to identify and pay attention to because they can cause pain and anxiety in your life.
There are three main ways in which our fears become expressed in our lives. I call them “fear-based expressions.” They are:
a) Body-based Expressions: These are fear-based symptoms that are expressed distinctly in your body. Perhaps you get a stomachache, your head begins to throb, or that old knee injury comes back for a painful visit.
b) Self-doubt and Criticism Expressions: Fear often expresses itself through self-doubt and self-criticism. You tell yourself things like, “You don’t look right!” or “You don’t present well” or “Who do you think you are? You aren’t good enough.”
c) Self-Sabotage Expressions: Self-sabotage symptoms are obstacles you put in your own way. We often soothe fears by sabotaging ourselves and our goals: by becoming indecisive, by “losing” documents, by forgetting to set the alarm, by deciding to do the laundry instead of writing the cover letter, on and on. Many people sabotage themselves by not making themselves and their Soul-Centered Project known in the world. Sound familiar?
Take Action: Think: what are your fear-based expressions? Take a few minutes and make a list of all the body based, self-doubt based, and self-sabotage based ways fear plays out in your life.
2) Identify What’s at Risk
It is my firm belief that fear always arises as a “red-alert” when something is at risk if you pursue a particular goal. For example, if you were to promote your business, perhaps what’s at risk is that people won’t sign up for your program. Or, that they won’t pay attention to what you have to say. Perhaps what’s at risk is the salary or connections you’ve made in your current position.
It’s important to ask the question, “What’s at risk for me if I were to really make myself visible?” because the risk IS what you are scared of.
Action Step: Journal on the following question: What’s at risk for you if you were to get visibility and be seen?
3) Name Your Fear and Embrace It
Now that you know what your REAL fear is (what’s at risk), it’s time to name it, feel it in your body, and embrace it. Yup, I’m serious. If fear is the big elephant in the room, and it’s not named or welcomed, then you can never really get to know it well enough to ask it to go away. Don’t be embarrassed about it; we ALL have fears, even the most successful or the most confident of us. It’s part of our human nature. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t get scared sometimes.
Action Step A: Name Your Fear. Simply name it in a word or two or three. “I am scared of failing,” or “I am scared of being ignored,” or “I am scared that I don’t look right.”
Action Step B: Feel the fear in your body. Take a few moments. Slow down. Close your eyes and notice where the fear lives in your body. Do you feel it in your shoulders, in your stomach? How does your fear affect you physically?
Action Step C: Embrace Your Fear. Perhaps you want to write it on a big piece of paper and hang it up on your refrigerator or your bathroom mirror. Perhaps you want to carry it around in your purse for a few days. Perhaps you want to write it in an email that you send to yourself or your best friend. However you do it, make it a point of embracing the thing that you are scared of. This simple act will take some of the emotional charge out of the fear and allow you to see it for what it really is.
Congratulations! After these first three steps, you probably know much more now about the nature of your fear and how it affects your life. These are great strides toward releasing this particular fear from your life, and gaining the visibility that you and your Soul-Centered project need to thrive!
Don’t Hide!
Years ago, Audre Lorde wrote: “We fear the visibility without which we cannot truly live.”
She was right about visibility in so many ways, and especially when it comes to making your dreams a reality. You need visibility to thrive and to create success. Yet being seen in the world can sometimes be scary or overwhelming.
It certainly was for me.
Be visible!!
Two years ago, I presented at a conference to over 200 women. It was my job to inspire the women to a place where they could love themselves deeply to reveal their soul and spirit to themselves and the world. The problem was that I wasn’t loving myself that day. Post-baby, I looked exhausted because I was nursing. I couldn’t get my hair to do anything I wanted. I didn’t fit in any of my clothes. The morning of the event, I wanted so much to hide from the world that I put makeup on in the dark and avoided the mirror at all costs.
Fortunately, I managed to inspire and deeply transform the women that day, but the truth is that I almost didn’t make it on stage! I almost backed out at the last minute because I didn’t want a single person to see me. Sadly, the fear of being seen – whether it’s because you don’t like the way that you look or you’re scared of being rejected or you don’t have enough confidence in your message – rears its head often for many soul-centered visionaries out there. The result is often self-sabotage, or hiding out or quitting … or simply feeling tortured with each marketing or PR step you take.
I don’t want you to miss out on the visibility you want any longer.
To help you learn how to create visibility for yourself and your Soul-Centered project, I’m going to teach you what I’ve learned about visibility since that conference 2 years ago.
At BE SEEN, we’ll be together in–person for a powerful and groundbreaking afternoon. You’ll receive:
Part content-rich business workshop, part internal excavation & transformation, this totally unique event is not to be missed!
Register NOW at http://soulfulcoach.com/be-seen.php.
We’re already 50% full, and it’s so important that you be there. I don’t want you to go another month or year hiding out from the world and keeping your message a secret.
Wishing you wild success and joy,
Joanna
p.s. I’ve overcome so many of my struggles with visibility … AND as I evolve, sometimes new visibility fears come up. The latest has been a huge block to creating videos of myself & a message to share with others. In honor of BE SEEN, I blew that fear out of the water and created a video just for you. Check it out here: http://soulfulcoach.com/be-seen.php
Here in Brooklyn, there’s no mistaking that it’s summer time. The heat is on. The sun is strong. The sprinklers are running, and the bathing-suits are out.
As many of you know, I am very conscious of living my life attuned to the earth and the seasons. And for me, summertime is all about investigating and getting to the next level of VISIBILITY. Why? Well, in the summer, the Sun is Queen. It’s all about the Sun. And traditionally, the sun represents being at the center of things, being visible, being seen and heard. Make sense?
So, in honor of the sun and summertime, I’ve prepared a very, very special opportunity just for you – a workshop and women’s circle all about visibility and bringing your sacred message to the world in big ways! I am over-the-moon excited about this event that’s taking place in NYC
on July 19th. It’s called BE SEEN, and it’s 3-hours of jam-packed visibility tools + experiential processes and ritual that will support you in being seen and heard and valued for your work in the world.
Here’s all the skinny on it: http://soulfulcoach.com/be-seen.php
There are lots of reasons why you don’t want to miss this event, and here’s one of the biggest reasons: I’m MOVING!!! Yup, it’s official; Jon, Penina and I will be packing up and moving to Charlotte, North Carolina later this month. So – if you’ve been wanting and waiting to work with me LIVE, here is your last chance for a while. I’m pulling out all the stops to make this a rock-the-house, not-to-be-forgotten event.
Will I see you there? I hope so! http://soulfulcoach.com/be-seen.php
And in the spirit of visibility, take a look at my article from Friday that’s all about creating effective, successful, and soul-centered presentations and talks.
Enjoy!
I’d like to tell you a story about a woman who changed her life. In the beginning of her career, she worked incredibly hard but seemed not to be advancing. She took poor care of herself and allowed others to dictate practically everything she did. She felt depressed, worn-out, and unhealthy. She had no time for herself and was lonely and disconnected.
Finally, one day she realized that there was no way to go but out, and that she must learn how to stand up for herself. From that moment on, she began to show up for her life as her own advocate, and stopped allowing everyone else’s needs to come first. Today, she is successful in her career, feels soul-satisfied, and is surrounded by loving family and friends.
This woman was me.
(For the whole story, go here)
Too tired from being "over responsible"? Wake up!
My whole life I had been an “over-responsibility person” – I was going to do whatever it took to make sure everyone around me was happy, satisfied, and ok. This intense need of mine to be responsible for everyone and everything stemmed from growing up with a perpetually ill mother who depended on me and needed for me to be the adult in the family. Making sure that everyone else was happy was a major piece of my identity and how I perceived my value in the world.
When I opened the doors to my business in 2007, my over-accommodating self was in full swing. I had no concept of boundaries AT ALL. I worked 80+ hour work weeks; scheduled sessions with clients whenever they wanted one (including 6:00am or 11:00pm at night); traveled all over Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens to have those sessions (instead of deciding that clients must travel to me); spent hours daily on client follow-up via email; and charging as low as $15 per session (and my travel time; I’m not kidding!).
You know what the result was? I was thoroughly exhausted, sick much of the time, isolated from friends and family… and pretty much broke!
Since then, I have been working on my boundaries and systems and on activating the Warrior Woman inside of me, and now I’m proud to share that I work no more than 25 hours most weeks! I continuously raise my rates and charge what I’m worth and my yearly earnings are in the multiple six figures. The best part: my clients receive MORE value than ever before and I have time and energy left over for myself, my family, and my life! I have a team that supports me in every aspect of my business and I take self-care 100% seriously and receive regular massages, acupuncture, etc.!
I want the same for you too!
Yesterday, I revealed the Warrior Woman Entrepreneur Program to you, and I want to tell you a little bit more about it. It is a 6-week master training that will revolutionize the ways you treat yourself, your business, and everyone around you. A number of members in the Soulful Coaching community have already stepped into this opportunity, and I’m so excited about it. If you have difficulty setting boundaries for yourself and others in your business, you need to activate and cultivate your Warrior Woman energy!
As a member of the Warrior Woman Entrepreneur Program, you will learn how to establish essential boundaries and systems for your Soul-Centered Business.
In this powerful, content-rich program, you will:
Register here. Your investment in this high-content, high-energy, transformative program includes a Special opportunity!
For three days only: Sign up between May 29th through the 31st and pay only $247!
The information and tools I’ll be sharing with you in this master-training program are ones that I’ve only shared with my mentor clients and Soul-Centered Leaders up until now. In this program, I’ll share my secrets for establishing the most aligned and effective business boundaries and systems for your success, prosperity and health!
I hope to see you there!
As a soul-centered leader and entrepreneur, as a healer, as a mother and a daughter and wife, as a friend, as a woman – I will be the first one in line to tell you the importance of love and compassion and patience and forgiveness. In this day and age, with all of the wonderful spiritual and self-development teachings we have, the idea of cultivating Love (with a capitol “L”) is nearly a given. Of course, of course, of course – this is a vital Woman Wisdom principle that is essential for success, forward movement and happiness.
However, there is another Woman Wisdom principle that is foundational when it comes to being happy as well as highly successful in your business, not-for-profit, artwork, or anything else you’re pursuing.
The principle: Connect in with your Anger, and let if flow.
Now, this Woman Wisdom principle is, unfortunately, often overlooked. It’s barely spoken about in all of those books about self-development, spirituality, and success. And if it is actually mentioned, it is shunned, rejected, and judged. Anger has become the hidden step-child, veiled in the shadows of Love. But in actuality – and most successful soul-centered leaders know this – Anger goes hand in hand with Love, and learning how to connect in with your anger can actually help you become more calm, grounded, and cultivate love that much more quickly. Learning how to connect with your anger will make you a much more effective business owner, leader, and parent because it allows you to know yourself and love yourself deeply, and be very clear on the boundaries you set up for yourself.
I know this might sound radical (and indeed it is), so let me explain a little more: Anger, just like Love or Joy or Peace, is a natural emotion and energy that all human beings experience from time to time. And just like any other energy – it needs to be expressed and allowed to flow through your body. So in fact, it is actually HEALTHY to get angry.
Healthy expression of anger allows you to:
There are circumstances that cause human beings to become angry. It’s just a fact. People mis-behave and sometimes betray or take advantage of you. Losses happen. Frustrating situations occur. If you don’t allow yourself to experience that anger consciously and allow it to flow through you, the anger just gets stuck in your body, and that’s when illness, self-sabotage, and self-destruction happen. Or, if you don’t allow your anger to flow, it festers and festers inside of you like a covered pot of boiling water, until it explodes all over the place, causing hurt feelings or destruction or pain.
Here are some examples of hidden anger that you might know for yourself:
So, why don’t we allow ourselves to get angry?
Because society has deemed Anger a “wrong” or “inappropriate” emotion – particularly for women, who are traditionally expected to be quiet, demure, and ever-compliant – it has become feared, judged, and hidden from view. As a result, we pretend like we’re not angry, or we become angry but are too embarrassed to let others know we’re angry, or we don’t even realize we’re angry, but take it out somewhere else.
Now, just to be clear: when I invite you to “Let Your Anger Flow”, I don’t mean to scream at someone else or to physically hurt someone else or yourself. Allowing yourself to connect with your anger and experience means doing it in safe and sacred ways – alone or with a group of supportive individuals, and creating a space where you can release the anger from your body, spirit, and mind in transformative, healing and protected ways. If you don’t have a practice of allowing your anger to be expressed and flow, I recommend working with a coach or other professional who can help you unlock it in safe ways that support you in opening up your body and energy level, get clear on your boundaries, and help you make aligned decisions for yourself.
In my coaching practice, I hear it time and time again:
“Ugh, it’s wintertime. It’s cold and dark…and I feel stuck!”
Entering into the winter season can bring up a lot of fear, anxiety, and struggle for you if you “fight” against it. Most of us are naturally drawn to the energy and feel of spring or summer – these are times when the weather is nice, there is plenty of light out, people are feeling sociable and energetic, and they’re very excited about the renewal and growth happening in the natural world (and then mirrored in their own lives).
Winter, on the other hand, can be seen as a really tough time of year when projects are suspended, enthusiasm is low, and things move very slowly. However, if you can honor that winter is supposed to have a different energy, feel and look from the spring, summer or even autumn, then the dark season can become a beautiful time of rest, renewal and creativity.
The trick is to be able to understand and honor that the wintertime, and the lessons and experiences it brings, are just as important as the summertime lessons and experiences.
Here are a few ways to make your winter experience work for you: …keep reading
It’s that time of the year again – holiday season! Next week, many of us will begin a dizzying six weeks of traveling, eating, partying, spending, and being with family. It can be a lot to handle, even for the most balanced and prepared individuals.
Often, by the time the New Year emerges, you can feel drained, exhausted, bloated, and ready to hide out from your friends and family for a while. That’s not the best way to start the new year!
I want to make sure this doesn’t happen to you this holiday season, and you start 2010 with clarity, vitality, and balance. Here are my top seven tips for thriving and enjoying yourself between now and the end of the year (and beyond!): …keep reading
